I WANT TO BE YOUR MAN IN MOTION: I was looking at VH1's list of "Awesomely Bad Songs", and while some of the choices decidedly hold water, I want to suggest two they missed without good reason.
First, while "Broken Wings" does appear on the list, this song simply must be replaced by Mr. Mister's other (bigger) hit, "Kyrie." What truly makes it hysterical is taking the somber Latin chant "kyrie eleison" ("Lord have mercy upon us") and turning it into a power-pop hook, with the following chorus:
Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light
Unintentional hysteria and inappropriate fist-pumping ensues. (I'm also reminded of the alumnus of my undergrad who proudly announced in the alumni magazine's "class notes" that he had recently finished his graduate dissertion, "Winger-ed Migration," which lamented the death of the "Power Ballad" in American music.)
But the truly most awesomely bad song ever? That honor is reserved for John Parr for the "classic" "St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)." (Not to be confused with the instrumental "Love Theme From St. Elmo' Fire," subsequently covered by John Tesh.) Powerful 80s keyboard riff to start song followed by "wah-wah" guitar riff? Check. Random shouting of title of movie in which song is featured? Check. Painful over-emoting by singer? Check. Lyrics with inane inspirational phrases like "Play the game! You know you can't quit until it's won!?" Check. Unforunate potential venereal disease reference at end of song ("I can feel it burning!")? Check. Yeah, and I've got it on my iPod.
In the category of "strange music," though, I think the topper is the version of "Rainy Day Women #12 and #35" that showed up on the radio when I was tooling around New Jersey last weekend. Apparently, Dylan's repeated references to "getting stoned" were deemed inappropriate by the artisst who was covering it, so instead, the artist substituted "tortured" for "stoned." Somehow, the lyric "everybody must get tortured" lacks a certain suitability for a relaxing weekend.
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