Thursday, December 16, 2004

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISMUKKAH: I'm slightly ahead of the fine folks over at Low Culture, who claim to never have watched an episode of "The O.C.," having watched a sum total of one episode (last season's finale), but even I am aware of how "Chrismukkah" is sweeping the nation. And that leads me to a question I pose to you: which artifically-created TV holiday is better--Chrismukkah or Festivus?

Chrismukkah: Born (at least arguably) from "The O.C."
Festivus: Born from "Seinfeld."
Edge: Festivus

Chrismukkah: Features the "Yarmulclaus"
Festivus: Features the metal pole of Festivus.
Edge: Chrismukkah

Chrismukkah: Features Mischa Barton's inability to act.
Festivus: Features Jerry Stiller screaming.
Edge: Even

Chrismukkah: Features beautiful people punching each other.
Festivus: Features the "feats of strength."
Edge: Festivus, because it's not over till you pin him.

Chrismukkah: Wide-ranging merchandising
Festivus: Was a Ben & Jerry's flavor
Edge: Chrismukkah. (Were it a summer holiday, maybe Festivus would have a shot.)

Chrismukkah: "Oy! Humbug!"
Festivus: "I've got some problems with you!"
Edge: Chrismukkah.

Chrismukkah: 59,600 Google hits
Festivus: 113,000 Google hits
Edge: Festivus

I think that gives the slight edge to Festivus, but I'm open to discussions. (Thanks to this transcript of last season's O.C. Chrismukkah episode for much of the information I rely on.)

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