SHE BANGS, YOU KICK ASS: Having sat through the two-hour premiere of Dancing With the Stars, it's pretty clear that in 80% of cases, the "stars" who elected to go through this process did so because they had a real enthusiasm for dancing, or learning to dance, or becoming the next career-resurgent John O'Hurley or Kelly Monaco. Then there's Master P Miller, who apparently subbed in for his injured son Romeo (who is purportedly a teen rap sensation, according to ABC's official website, although I will confess this is an area in which I don't even have a vocabulary, much less any expertise) and sleepwalked through his entire cha cha. And while it's clear that ABC thought it would be fantastic cross-promotion to have ESPN's Kenny Mayne on the show, wouldn't it have been better to cherrypick some other -- any other -- ESPN personality, one who might have had just the littlest eensy bit of coordination?
As for everyone else, they all did at least a decent job -- even Tia Carrere, who brought her six-week-old baby to rehearsal and readily concedes that DWTS is her plan for post-partum weight loss. After P and Kenny return to their day jobs, there isn't an obvious next-to-go based on this week's waltz and cha cha.
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