A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

DO YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN ABOUT A GRAMMY? Yes, we do around here, as I noted in recapping the 2003, 2004 and 2005 ceremonies. Don't get me wrong -- the awards themselves are generally nonsense, but they always put on a hell of a show.

I surveyed my fellow ALOTT5MA bloggers regarding certain of the awards to be handed out tonight. If we voted in the Grammys, here's who'd win:

Record of the Year: Nominees are ''We Belong Together,'' Mariah Carey; ''Feel Good Inc.,'' Gorillaz featuring De La Soul; ''Boulevard of Broken Dreams,'' Green Day; ''Hollaback Girl,'' Gwen Stefani; ''Gold Digger,'' Kanye West.

We say: "Hollaback Girl" edges out "Feel Good Inc." "That sh-t is infectious", says one of us.

Album of the Year: ''The Emancipation of Mimi,'' Mariah Carey; ''Chaos and Creation in the Backyard,'' Paul McCartney; ''Love. Angel. Music. Baby.,'' Gwen Stefani; ''How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb,'' U2; ''Late Registration,'' Kanye West.

We say: Pretty unanimous for Kanye, albeit almost by default. One vote for Macca.

Song of the Year: ''Bless the Broken Road,'' Bobby Boyd, Jeff Hanna & Marcus Hummon, (Rascal Flatts); ''Devils & Dust,'' Bruce Springsteen, (Bruce Springsteen); ''Ordinary People,'' W. Adams & J. Stephens, (John Legend); ''Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own,'' U2; ''We Belong Together,'' J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal, (D. Bristol, K. Edmonds, S. Johnson, P. Moten, S. Sully & B. Womack) (Mariah Carey).

We say: Tied between "Devils and Dust" and "Ordinary People". I could break the tie, but I voted Rascal Flatts.

New Artist: Ciara, Fall Out Boy, Keane, John Legend, SugarLand.

We say: No strong support for anyone. Meh year.

Pop Vocal Album: ''Extraordinary Machine,'' Fiona Apple; ''Breakaway,'' Kelly Clarkson; ''Wildflower,'' Sheryl Crow; ''Chaos and Creation in the Backyard,'' Paul McCartney; ''Love. Angel. Music. Baby.,'' Gwen Stefani.

We say: Tie between Ms. Apple and Ms. Clarkson, but, seriously people? The Clarkson album is the bomb-diggity. Precisely engineered for maximum hit-osity.

Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal: ''Speed of Sound,'' Coldplay; ''Best of You,'' Foo Fighters; ''Do You Want To,'' Franz Ferdinand; ''All These Things That I've Done,'' The Killers; ''Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own,'' U2.

We say: Coldplay, grudgingly.

Alternative Music Album: ''Funeral,'' The Arcade Fire; ''Guero,'' Beck; ''Plans,'' Death Cab for Cutie; ''You Could Have It So Much Better,'' Franz Ferdinand; ''Get Behind Me Satan,'' The White Stripes.

We say: Best category, all solid nomiees. Death Cab drives away with our win.

Best Rap Song: "Candy Shop," by Curtis Jackson & Scott Storch, songwriters (50 Cent Featuring Olivia); "Diamonds From Sierra Leone," by D. Harris & Kanye West, songwriters; (J. Barry & D. Black, songwriters) (KanyeWest); "Don't Phunk With My Heart," by William Adams, Printz Board, Stacy Ferguson & George Pajon, Jr., songwriters;(Kalyanji Anandji, Full Force & Indeewar, songwriters) (The Black Eyed Peas); "Hate It or Love It," by Curtis Jackson, A. Lyon, Jayceon Taylor & M. Valenzano, songwriters; (Baker, Felder & Harris, songwriters) (The Game Featuring 50 Cent); "Lose Control," by M. Elliott, C. Harris & G. Isaacs III, songwriters; (J. Atkins, R. Davis & C. Hudson, songwriters) (Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop.)

We say: "Lose Control", in a landslide. We [heart] Missdemeanor.

Best Spoken Word Album: "The Adventures Of Guy Noir," by Garrison Keillor ; " The Al Franken Show Party Album," by Al Franken; " Chronicles - Volume One (Bob Dylan)," by Sean Penn; " Dreams From My Father (Senator Barack Obama)," by Barack Obama; " When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? (George Carlin) , " by George Carlin.

We say: If he can't win for the theme song, Sen. Obama ought to win here.

Performers tonight will include octuple nominees Mariah Carey, John Legend and Kanye West; Madonna with Gorillaz; Paul McCartney; Kelly Clarkson; Bruce Springsteen; U2 w/ Mary J. Blige; Coldplay; Faith Hill and Keith Urban; Christina Aguilera and Herbie Hancock; Sugarland (who?); Jamie Foxx with Kanye West (hmm . . . I wonder what they'll play); an all-star tribute to Sly And The Family Stone featuring Maroon 5, Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas, Robert Randolph, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith, Joss Stone, John Legend, Ciara and Devin Lima; Jigga w/ Linkin Park; and a tribute to New Orleans music featuring Allen Toussaint, Dr. John and "Soul Queen of New Orleans" Irma Thomas; rockers Elvis Costello, Bonnie Raitt, Bruce Springsteen, and U2's The Edge; and soul singer Sam Moore.

Be here for all the coverage.