A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, LL COOL J IS THE GUEST JUDGE NEXT WEEK: And it looks like Kenley's in for it. Maybe they'll sic the panther on her. Or bomb her town. Don't call it a compensated promotional appearance. Yo. And if the banter at the judging table goes anything like this, there will be much rejoicing.

As for this week's episode of Project *yawn* Runway, I don't have a lot to offer. Here's the Bravo slideshow.

Jarrell's design was the only one with any "wow" to it, taking his client from shy and likeable to poised and effusive.

Kenley seemed dejected not to get the win, in that I'm-usually-cute-enough-to-be-the-center-of-attention-so-why-don't-you-LIKE-me-it's-all-so-unjust way that everyone's tired of seeing from her. Crap. I broke my hyphen key. See what you made me do, Kenley? With your prints and your belts and your pouting and your hair feathers and your American Graffiti silhouettes? Shape it up for next week or I'll let the em dash loose on you. If the panther doesn't get you first, that is. I'm not afraid. Neither is Heidi. Catty, incisive Heidi. Interrupted her once too often, methinks. Heh heh.

Korto's collar made her client look like she should be carrying a carbine with a fixed boyonet. Liked it otherwise. No, really.

As the judges remarked, Leanne's jacket gave her client a static prow like a bumper car or a paddle boat or something, despite a nice dress underneath. In motion, with the jacket buttoned especially, it got very boxy and odd.

Joe was ... gods. Wrong. Just wrong in so many ways. Goodbye Joe. Keep thanking your lucking stars that you didn't get that poor child compared to Monica Lewinski on national television right as she headed out into the world to find her first internship.

And Suede's design inspired confusion and disgust, although (ignoramus that I am) I couldn't see why. Suede, sure. The design? Not sure. Wiser more discriminating viewers tried to explain to me that it was too 1992, leaving me to wonder why it's okay to be 1952 and awesome to be 1972 and positively inspired to be 1982 but wrong wrong wrong to be 1992. His client looked like one happy kid in that outfit, but Nina clearly threw up a little bit in her mouth. If only it could have been another double elimination.

So, as we've known since Terri got the doesn't-work-and-play-well-with-others auf, Jarrell, Leanne, and Korto are the obvious favorites on talent, range, and personality. Here's an easy link to the final collections, for those curious and unconcerned about spoiling the final few Wednesdays. Let 'er rip in the comments. Mixed bag, to be sure. I'll confess that, after what seemed like a promising start, I'm more or less waiting for the competition to wind down.

The big lesson I've learned about fashion (or at least about fashion on basic cable television) from this cycle of Project Runway is that it's usually a lot more fun from a bitchy gay perspective. I have our commenters to thank for that, so, thanks for that.