Monday, October 20, 2008

ALOTT5MA FILMS PRESENTS: Law School Musical. A treatment follows:

Two young recent college graduates meet in a Karaoke bar in New York City one night. She (Ashley) is an ice-queen corporate gunner type. He (Jake) is a vaguely swarthy soul-patched public interest type. For reasons wholly inexplicable, the two wind up singing a song together which is original, but that somehow is on the karaoke machine. They lose each other in the crowd despite there being an instant attraction.

Some weeks pass, and both Ashley and Jake (unbekownst to either of them) are starting law school at generic yet prestiguous law school so as not to be overly geographically specific. Both are quickly placed into their respective cliques. Ashley is urged by her friends that she needs to stop thinking about Jake so much and should instead study through an extensive song and dance number in the law school library ("Getcha Nose In a Book?"). Mysteriously, no one complains that the students are engaging in elaborate choreography throughout the library rather than studying.

The law school is doing a musical, and tryouts go up. The queen bee of the law school (Poodle), and her gay friend sidekick (Brian) are first to try out, and perform a gaudy song about the recent federalism decisions of the Supreme Court. Ashley and Jake don't want to try out, but are urged by their friends to do so, and perform the song about federalism, but in an more appropriately earthy and mournful way.

Ashley and Jake's respective cliques are upset, and they proceed to sing a song urging them to stick to their respective gunner/public interest ways, which somehow manages to rhyme "status quo," "pro bono," "quid pro quo," and "ex aequo." Additional dancing ensues. Poodle and Brian are given the leads in the law school's musical, and proceed to turn it into a lavish over the top spectacle.

The musical is fast approaching and the first semester is over. Jake is at a protest, while Ashley is in the library. Despite being separate from one another, they can't help but sing about their love for each others. Ashley tuns to the protest, seeking Jake. Jake runs to the library, seeking Ashley. Due to the sort of comic misunderstanding only present in poorly written films, they somehow manage not to pass each other in the course of their journey. Comic mischief and additional singing and dancing ensue, until they run into each other outside the auditorium where musical rehearsals are going on.

Poodle and Brian are practicing their big number--a lavishly overproduced song in which they sing of the forbidden love between Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Clarence Thomas, featuring the other seven justices as backup dancers (breakdancing Justice Kennedy is a high point)--when Jake and Ashley run into each other outside. They sing of their love so loudly to interrupt Poodle and Brian. The Dean of the law school (cameo role--Antonin Scalia? John Roberts?) orders that Jake and Ashley shall play the leads and everyone claps (save Poodle and Brian, who fume comically).

Jake and Ashley walk back to their dorm and find acceptance letters. Jake has been offered a summer job crusading for the environment in New York. Ashley has managed to get a summer associate position with Wachtell. They celebrate and with the entire cast, sing a song about how they'll all be lawyers together. We fade to credits.

Potential sequels? Law School Musical 2: Summer Associates, featuring a cameo from Aquagirl, and Law School Musical 3: 3L Year, in which no one actually does anything, since they already have a job offer.

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