Thursday, December 2, 2010

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. IS THIS THE CRAFTIEST [TWELVE-LETTER WORD FOR INCEST] WHO'S EVER BEEN ON THIS SHOW?   Sometimes, Anthony Bourdain doesn't need to be fancy.  Sometimes, all he needs to say is "Didn't look good. Didn't taste good.  Wasn't cooked right," and as much as one might have expected a different outcome, this first Top Chef All-Stars result certainly makes a certain amount of sense.

That said, Bourdain's blog is already up.  As to the dish I thought seemed the worst, he wrote: "Whatever the f--- it was, was diabolical. A pu-pu platter from Hell. If Hell was a bad tiki bar in a Long Island strip mall."

I'm already ready to be rid of the subject of the title quote, as well as Mikey, and Sepinwall's right that Fabio's got a nasty case of Rupert-itis. Count me on Team Blais for now, but there are plenty of chefs (Somerton's Own Jen Carroll, Angelo, Hootie Hoo and Jamie) for whom I'm rooting.  Welcome back to the kitchen.

31 comments:

  1. The thing is, if all Fabio had heard from Bourdain at that point was what was said at the dining table, than I don't recall anything constructive having been said. Bourdain would do well to be more like Simon Cowell and less like Michael Kors. I fear it could become very easy for there to be a BourdainMadLib, like there is for Kors. ( "A ______ (adjective) ______ (nationality) at a _______ (event/occasion)" )

    Seeing Elia again reminded me how much I absolutely loathed her and I'm glad to see her gone early.

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  2. Adding credit to the Fug Girls for the original Kors Mad Lib: http://gofugyourself.com/emmy_awards_fug_or_fab_or_unfu-08-2010

    Also, watching Top Chef right after Hellcats made me do a doubletake at Jamie's new hair, since it's soooooo similar to Aly Michalka's. And it's very cute hair on both of them.

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  3. Maret3:51 AM

    I was really glad to see Jamie do so well...I agree Blais should not have been allowed the win for going over the allotted time, but I am also Team Blais at this point. I also liked that he wasn't afraid to comment generously or constructively about his fellow cheftestants. I dislike Angelo although he's obviously very talented, so I was bummed he got the win, but oh well.

    A great kick off to the season and I can't wait for more. And kudos to the producers on the elimination challenge itself: I cannot think of a better way to start the season.

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  4. Meghan9:10 AM

    I loved that challenge.  The husband and I were imagining what the meetings must have been like when they were dreaming up challenges.  I hope that someone was rubbing his/her hands together in diabolical glee.  It was fantastic, that idea.

    It was interesting to me the Elia was all, "Eh, I'm not going to change that much."  An outcome that could easily be expected, then.  And, while the criticism of Bourdain's criticism was fair, I wonder if Fabio knows Tony Bourdain?  Because you can't really expect something other than that, can you? 

    Loved what I saw so far and just need Spike, Mike I, and yeah, Angelo, to beat it.  Then I don't care who wins the season, as long as it's not one of the three of them.

    As an aside, I heard Dr. Drew on Howard Stern the other day and it reminded me of Angelo.  Or maybe vice versa.  They both seem to buy their own hype as The Nice Guy® and it seems so insincere to me.  Anyone?  Am I crazy?

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  5. Put me down for Blais too, for now, and for Jamie.  In fact, I reserve the right to abandon Blais for Jamie later on.  The "enough already" list endorsed above -- Spike, Mike, Angelo -- is right on, and I'm tempted to add Stephen. 

    The challange was fantastic.  It was personal.  It asked what kind of people they were.  It inspired honest and immediate shock, dread, and fear.  I loved that they gave Spike his frozen scallops back and made him do it again.  I would have loved that he'd pulled it off too, if he could shut up a little bit.

    Evil thoughts:

    Speaking of shutting up a little bit, -10 for Stephen's smug and self-satisfied misuse of "consequently" in describing the receipt of a Best New Somethingorother designation for a venue he opened.  (The unnecessarily long and bureaucratic word he wanted, I think, was "subsequently", unless he meant to suggest that anything he opened would have received the designation just because he opened it.)  It may seem petty or persnickety to call him out for this, as, to quote a man who'd know, we all mangle a syllable now and then (or simply pick the wrong word for a spontaneous attempt at self-expression) but Stephen's schtick is to act like a punctillious prick with a profoundly superior knowledge of dam near everything, so I expect precise performance from him in the area of basic English usage.

    Between the headshaving, the heavy eye make-up, and the self-pitying underacheiving flameout on the comeback attempt, Elia was positively Britney-esque.  Good luck.  Good riddance.  May she have a successful career in the culinary arts that does not again intersect with attempts to create popular entertainment.

    Jennifer seemed so unhappy towards the end of Season 6, despite being one of the strongest contestants, that I can't believe she came back for another dose of this crap.  My read on her is first child, type A, pleaser/acheiver, but I didn't think she was a masochist.  Also, whoever restyled her hair for All-Stars needs to be sent to a camp in the countryside for re-education.


    Favourite Bourdain: "[...] that English guy ... what was his name?"

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  6. The only reason Stephen isn't on my Enough Already list is that I can't imagine his surviving much longer.

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  7. Jenn C10:29 AM

    I LOVED both challenges, but especially the EC.  The QF seemed a little bit unfair since the teams weren't even in terms of # (more chefs could be both a pro and a con) and some seasons had better chemistry than others.  But I enjoyed the intra-season trash-talking. 

    Love the Chicago and Miami chefs.  Also happy to see San Fran Tiffani. 

    I hate Season 2  so I didn't mind seeing Elia leave.

    I realize this is an unpopular opinion, but *small voice* IkindoflikeMikeIsabella.    I find him entertaining but not annoying.  Maybe it's b/c I have always liked Zaytinya.

    One more thing I need to go back and watch--what exactly did Spike do to his scallops that was so impressive?  Did he just hid them under a bunch of crap?  Season them so they didn't taste like scallops at all?

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  8. Marsha10:38 AM

    All the season 1 and 2 chefs should be gone quickly - Tiffani seems the only one with a shot to stay for a while, bur they're really all out of their league. Remember how the casting was for those seasons? They had home cooks on season 1!

    Loved the episode - lots of good smack talk, good challenges. I loved how the Quickfire didn't do anything to equalize the unequal numbers of people on each team, as more people is both a blessing and a curse. I also love how obvious it is which seasons are the best (4 and 6).

    I am not rooting for everyone, but nearly everyone here is someone I'm happy to see again. I don't much like Spike's personality, but he can bring it, and I like to see that. I was very happy that Elia was the first to go, and won't be sad to see Stephen, Mike or Angelo gone too (though Angelo is very very good and likely to stay a while).I think Angelo will go far because unlike others who lost in the finals because someone was just better that day (Casey) or because they themselves choked (Richard), Angelo believes that it was because he was sick (and he's probably right) so he doesn't have the plague of self-doubt.

    Lots of people I like here - Jen, Tiffani and Tiffany, Chicago Dale, Jamie, Richard... this is going to be a lot of fun.

    Oh, this morning, Chicago Dale told the Trib that most of the contestants figured that the elimination challenge would be some variation on what they got. It seems to have been blatantly obvious to them both that they'd have to face that challenge, and that it would be the first thing they did.

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  9. Marsha10:43 AM

    I didn't really understand what Spike did to the scallops either. While he was cooking he made it seem like he was going to do large volume of the other components on the plate and do them perfectly, thus "hiding" the bad scallops. But you don't end up in the top 3 for that, do you? Unless he's in the top for just being clever enough to solve the problem even with a dish that still has bad scallops on it.

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  10. Marsha10:52 AM

    Forgot to mention - I thought Stephen got a little shafted in the Elimination challenge. Because he got eliminated the week he did for being too front of house, he was left to re-execute dishes that he had no hand in making the first time around, or probably even concieving (I don't remember the details). It's a whole different challenge remaking someone else's dish (keeping in mind that the other people didn't go home for those dishes) than remaking your own (and knowing in detail what was so wrong with them).

    Not that I really want to defend Stephen, but I'm glad he didn't go home this week.

    OK, I'll shut up for a while.

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  11. See ya, Elia!  I wasn't at all sorry to see her go.  I would say that I'm team Blais/Jamie/Hootie Hoo/Jen.  They're the ones I'm really rooting for.  Spike cannot go quickly enough to suit me, and ditto for Stephen and Mike I.

    I'm not sure I've had enough time away from Angelo.  Undoubtedly he's very good, and will probably be around for a while, but I wanted Jamie to get the win.

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  12. Here's what I love about Richard Blais: he was upset that he was disqualified from a potential win, but he didn't throw a drama queen hissy fit about it.  He said - calmly - that he was pissed.  He's a class act, and I'm rooting for him.  (Plus, I just crack up whenever I see the liquid nitrogen tank come out. It just strikes me as hysterical.)

    I also remembered how much I like season 1 Tiffani.  She didn't always come off well in her season, but since then she's always seemed to be competitive, but honest and up-front in a way I like.  When Elia got eliminated, she was the first one to give her a round of applause and to say of course she shouldn't be humiliated for going out first among such competition.

    Mike and Spike both stuck around way too long their first times around, and I'm hoping for early exits for both of them. I also think Stephen won't last long against this competition, although I'm curious to see what he can do.  I agree with Marsha - I also felt he had the toughest task last night, "re-making" a dish he never made in the first place.

    I was also reminded during the Quickfire last night how much Jamie likes to make soup.

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  13. I just can't decide about Jen. It is like she is an extremely cocky person, pretending to be a regular person, pretending that she is cocky.

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  14. I'd be easier on Mike if I thought he was better, which is kind of ironic since Angelo is somehow more irritating to me for being so damn good.   Part of me wants to just dismiss him as a great big douche, but I can't, because week in and week out everybody looks right into the camera and says his kung fu is the best. 

    Speaking of doucherie, since I've flamed Marcel pretty viciously in the past I suppose I should add that I'm hoping he's grown up and that I won't hate him again.  Too little camera time to know at this point, but he could get on my short-list in a big big hurry if he goes all MC 900ft Teenwolf again.

    Part of me wishes they'd brought Kenny back.  The rest of me hopes they tried and he turned them down in favor of the numerous more compelling and otherwise better things he currently has to do.

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  15. Meghan12:10 PM

    I thought Marcel's perception of himself during his original season demonstrated an amazing lack of awareness.  I'm not encouraged he's going to be any different.

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  16. Watts1:25 PM

    "MC 900ft Teenwolf" - LOVE this.

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  17. Watts1:33 PM

    My challenge wish - Make each and every contestant do an individual dessert dish.  None of this "Oooh, I'm on a team and I'm going to make dessert to stand out" or "I'm not doing dessert because dessert always gets you sent home."  And it can't be a team challenge.  I want individual accountability that these "Top Chef All-Stars" can, at the end of a meal, put in front of me something sweet that is edible and enjoyable.

    I'd also like to see them get hit with some of the regular TC challenges that were repeated on TC Masters.  Particularly, I'd like to see them cook vegetarian (but not necessarily the "Zoey Deschanel special"), do the one-handed egg challenge, and some variation on the "update a classic dish" challenge.

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  18. bella wilfer1:42 PM

    Agree with the Blais comments 100%.  

    And THRILLED to see Elia go.  As I said in yesterday's thread, she was never punished as much as the men for that whole awful bullying head-shaving incident and this is her just desserts (pun slightly intended).

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  19. Jenn.4:22 PM

    I'm not an Angelo fan, but a lot of my animus washed away at the end of last season, when I started to view him as basically a geek with weak social skills.  Who can actually cook. 

    All in all, I'm happy with the casting.  I really feel like they chose well, in terms of people who can actually cook, and generally are at least interesting to have around.  I loved both of the challenges, so I'm feeling bullish about TC:AS.

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  20. Adlai9:01 PM

    All of my dislike for Angelo came roaring back last night. And I love Richard Blais, and have enjoyed his Atlanta burgers (but, trust me, don't get the foie gras milkshake), but he better not suggest Stephanie didn't deserve her win. She's awesome, and her new Chicago restaurant is dominating the Chicago restaurant scene these days. (It's fantastic.)

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  21. Genevieve12:12 AM

    I have always loved Zaytinya, and this is my first glimpse of Mike Isabella -- based just on this one episode, I'm kind of sorry that I've heard his voice and not just tasted his food.  But maybe he'll grow on me.

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  22. Genevieve12:16 AM

    I've eaten Mike's food.  He is that damn good.  I have yet to eat anything at Zaytinya that I don't like, and most things there made me sigh and/or gasp the first time I tried them, and have yet to disappoint.

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  23. Strong recommendation.  Will hit Zaytinya and see if it revises my view of Mike I.  Thanks!

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  24. Heather K10:02 AM

    I think Jen is a terrified person.  Like TERRIFIED of failure.  Which is why she is such a hardass, which is why her technique is so precise, which is why she works so hard.  I think she half believes a firing squad shows up if she fails or even foibles.

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  25. Maggie10:19 AM

    He's not at Zaytinya any more (which is not to say that the quality of Zaytinya's food has slipped).  He's opening a new place called Graffiato http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/28/AR2010092803334.html

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  26. RandomRanter11:55 AM

    I am torn on this, because I agree, it wasn't really Stephen's food, but then it was the very decision to spend time worrying about wine glasses and not food that got him sent home.  But I am fine with his surviving this week.

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  27. RandomRanter11:55 AM

    I am torn on this, because I agree, it wasn't really Stephen's food, but then it was the very decision to spend time worrying about wine glasses and not food that got him sent home.  But I am fine with his surviving this week.

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  28. RandomRanter11:55 AM

    I am torn on this, because I agree, it wasn't really Stephen's food, but then it was the very decision to spend time worrying about wine glasses and not food that got him sent home.  But I am fine with his surviving this week.

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  29. Elia lost her ever-loving mind in an exit interview with the Chicago Tribune.   I can't imagine that will be good for her career.

    http://leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/thestew/2010/12/top-chef-exit-interview-elia-blasts-tom-colicchio.html

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  30. Jenn C12:40 AM

    Wow, she is bitter and angry.

    I did have to chuckle at Tom's "it's local! It's trucked in from Santa Monica!" response.

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  31. I wonder if Joel Robuchon's head hurts from having his name dropped so many times.

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