Friday, May 13, 2011

ODDS OF BEING NORMAN MAILER'D OR MAXWELL TAYLOR'D - 500:1: If the mere thought of Paul Simon's eleventh SNL appearance (3 as host, 8th as musical guest; includes one double-duty) this Saturday doesn't excite you enough in and of itself, let's set out some odds to make it interesting:
If he performs ...
Two songs. 3:1  
Three songs. 1:2
During the monologue. 4:1
In a giant turkey suit. 20:1

A song ...
Off the new album, just before Update. 1:5  
Something from the Negotiations and Love Songs compilation. 3:1
A Simon & Garfunkel song: 7:1
A Simon & Garfunkel song not on Greatest Hits. 50:1
"Here Comes The Sun." 20:1
Anything from The Capeman. 100:1
"When Numbers Get Serious." 200:1

With a special appearance by ...

Artie. 10:1
Edie. 20:1
Ladysmith Black Mambazo. 50:1
Olodum. 75:1
The Dixie Hummingbirds. 100:1
Chevy Chase. 200:1
Jerry Douglas. 10:1
That weird wavy hand thing he does. 2:1 (HT: Tosy and Cosh)
Lorne. 6:5 (non-singing), 100:1 (singing)

And also ...
Appears in a skit as himself. 5:1  
Appears in a skit in character. 20:1
Appears in a skit as another celebrity. 25:1
Appears in a skit as Tony Lacey. 200:1
Appears in Laser Cats: 15:1