FROM THE ALOTT5MA COURTSHIP DESK: Okay, agreed, the letter previously discussed presents possible issues of Asperger's-related issues which renders it not necessarily the best topic for jocular discussion. If that's what caused his failure to recognize and respond appropriately to social cues, it's not funny.
On the other hand, when it comes to how-do-you-know-it's-over, I hope we can agree that it is worth mocking if your modus operandi for one night stands is to send your new friend home in a private car with a gift basket containing autographed Derek Jeter memorabilia -- even if (or especially if) you're Derek Jeter who's providing the parting gifts.
I think most women are perfectly aware when they hook up with Jeter or another celeb that it's going to be a one night stand. And I thinkoffering to have a car take them home is actually fine. The memorabilia, though, is so gross and tacky. Just say "thanks for a great night, let me make sure you're going to get home ok." Do not provide souvenirs.
ReplyDeleteStay classy, Jeter.
"Like a game show contestant with a parting gift, I could not believe my eyes."
ReplyDeleteShe might have had the same reaction too, you know.
Any reference to "Runaround" makes me happy. :)
ReplyDeleteBut yes, agree with Maret. That is just gross.
On top of the VD, I also have to set up an eBay account? Cash is sufficient!
ReplyDeleteHmm. I did this just last week. And my swag is surely worse than Jeter's. Damn.
ReplyDeleteSo if you sleep with A-Rod do you get your own collectable replica of the A-Rod as Centaur painting that allegedly hangs above his bed?
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the women that Alex Rodriguez sleeps with? They take whatever they want. The guy has a type.
ReplyDeleteNow every kid in the greater New York area who gets a Jeter autograph for Christmas is going to wonder...
ReplyDeleteMermaids? Harpies?
ReplyDeleteWait, getting Yankees memorabilia is supposed to be a good thing?
ReplyDeleteA Yankees fan friend said "I'd sleep with Jeter for free, but you couldn't pay me to sleep with A-Rod."
ReplyDeleteIn Jeter's defense, he's never had good range in the field either.
ReplyDeleteSigned Jeter memorabilia is not a gift I would imagine these recipients want intrinsically (with the exception of a fraction who may stash away such gifts privately as memontoes). Rather, as the article points out, these items have eBay value. How could the recipient put the autographed ball on a mantle? "Yeah, I'm REALLY into Jeter. [Cough.] Got it at a show. Some things are worth the money." Or even gift it to a nephew who loves Jeter? "I, umm, just thought you'd like the ball. Set me back $500, but I love you, Timmy." Jeter might as well just leave $500 in the basket in the car, it would save all involved some hassle . . . except of course he'd feel like a John and she'd feel like a whore. It's like he is de-emotionalizing the evening (totally unromantic gift), even patronizing her, and he's making sure he owes her nothing.
ReplyDeleteImagining the alternative universe where I'm both a woman and one who wants to have one-night stands with famous ballplayers, I'd think that a signed baseball is exactly the sort of memento I'd want of the occasion. Second to a sex tape or child. But, then, I have Asperger's.
ReplyDeleteWhat if the Centaur painting is a strategy for making sure they don't mind when he doesn't call?
ReplyDeleteSadly, if he keeps saturating the market, those autographed baseballs won't be worth a damned thing soon.
ReplyDelete