TRIPLE LUTZ, TRI ... OH, THAT WASN'T GOOD: I'm subbing in for Gretchen on this one, but if you watched the US ladies' figure skating championship Saturday night and/or followed my tweets during same you know where I'm going with this: what Saturday night reminded us, more than anything, is that figure skating is really, really hard. To skate flawlessly for four minutes and pull off the jumps required at this level takes a remarkable amount of strength and balance, and there's a reason why I counted nine of the twelve athletes as having planted ass on ice or otherwise egregiously two-footed during their skates.

Points are what they are, so I understand why Mirai Nagasu took the second Olympic slot with champion Rachael Flatt. Still, the more-experienced Ashley Wagner performed more difficult elements in her long program, and did them better, and it's a damn shame that her screwed-up triple lutz in the short program (which she explains here) will keep her out of the Games.

As for Sasha Cohen, it just wasn't there, and for medals in Vancouver folks shouldn't be looking at our ladies at all. Instead, it's that flamboyant guy, that less flamboyant guy and our ice dancers ... though I'd first have to concede ice dancing to be a sport. (That's why I tend to focus on other disciplines, though, seriously, the Russian/aboriginal thing is going to be quite a fun controversy.)

While I have the floor -- I'm paying for this microphone, after all -- after a long dormancy look for a flurry of CoverItLive activity here for sweeps month. I'd expect us to resume that feature for the Grammys this Sunday, for the Oscar nomination reveal on February 2, and for the Olympic opening and closing ceremonies (indoors, a first!) -- because we've got way more interesting things to say about the marching countries of the world and the Children Uniting In Song than Bob Costas does.

After the jump, a special video from Johnny Weir:

I DON'T THINK THAT NAME MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS: Longstanding Canadian magazine The Beaver is changing its name to Canada's History, largely due to blocks that now happen when "The Beaver" sends e-mails or people attempt to access their website.

I'M NOT BEING DEFENSIVE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEING DEFENSIVE! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE OTHER PERSON WHO'S BEING DEFENSIVE? HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF THAT? So I'm guessing based on the reviews that it's about time I started watching Damages with the third-season premiere tonight.

MAY I INQUIRE DISCREETLY? ?uestlove explains the world of licensing fees for walk-on music.

WHO DAT V. HOOSIERS: It's the ghost of Archie Manning past vs. Peyton Manning present in the big game, which this year, let's face it, will really be anticlimactic coming a week after the pageantry and passion of the Pro Bowl. So, who ya got in XLIV at Sun Life Stadium (perhaps better knows, according to Wikipedia, as Joe Robbie Stadium or Pro Player Park or Pro Player Stadium or Dolphins Stadium or Dolphin Stadium or Land Shark Stadium).

"AT LEAST 6 ASSES, 2 HELLS, 1 CRAP, 1 DAMN, 2 USES OF 'GOD' AND 1 USE OF 'OH MY GOD": Even though it's rated PG-13, is there really anything in School of Rock which renders it unsuitable for an almost-seven-year-old? Schneebly!

MEKKA LEKKA HI, MEKKA HINEY HO! Yes, I would pay a lot of money to see Pee Wee's Playhouse live on stage again.