IT'S NO "SECRET DWARF HOOKER," IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN:Given the demographics of our readership, it's probably pretty unlikely many will be attending a screening of the upcoming Robert Pattinson romance Remember Me, which seems to be sold primarily on the concept that it will be Twilight fans' first chance to see the Eclipse trailer. And that's why we'll take New York spoiling the ending, which is seriously sub-Nicholas Sparks territory.

SORRY, GILLIGAN, TATTOO, AND SMOKE MONSTER: This list is of the 10 Scariest Islands in Movie History.

MAZEL TOV: iTunes sold its 10 billionth song last week and in honor of that milestone, AOL Radio Blog has a list of the service's 10 Most Downloaded Songs of All Time with the top song being of no surprise to anyone who has been to a wedding, bar mitzvah, christening, prom, or chili cook-off in the last nine months.

The lucky 10 billionth song purchaser, Louie Sulcer of Woodstock, Georgia, who downloaded "Guess Things Happen That Way" by Johnny Cash, won a $10,000 iTunes gift card, which made me ask my wife what cash equivalent would you take for a $10,000 iTunes gift card (I think I would gladly rather have $500 cash), she, of course, would rather dole out smaller gift cards for the rest of her life to everyone she knows. How's bout you?

And while you're thinking about that, in honor of the start of meteorological spring, enjoy AOL Radio Blog's 10 Best Surf Songs.

PLEASE CONTINUE BELIEVIN': Yes, it's small, but Glee: The Tour is now official--only four cities (Phoenix, LA, Chicago, and New York City's Radio City Music Hall), and only the kids (no Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch, or Jayma Mays, though we do get Brittany and Santana). Set list will include "Jump," "Don't Rain On My Parade," "Somebody To Love," and "Sweet Caroline."

ROPIN' THE WIND: Given the gaucho theming of tonight's leg of TAR, it's not altogether surprising which team dominated from start to finish, and I'm still not entirely clear how the teams near the back of the pack switched around, given that we barely saw most of them beyond the Roadblock. Truly frightening that none of the teams seem to be able to navigate (any "drive yourself a decent distance" task, much less the more complicated (but still pretty basic) orienteering that was one side of the Detour, seems to be a pitfall), and perhaps most frightening that the legendarily map-challenged Caite thinks she'd be a better navigator than driver. Right now, while things could always change, sure seems like there are 2-3 teams that have the skills to go the distance, while other teams just hope someone else screws up more than they do in a given leg. Not sure how interesting a season this makes, especially since none of those 2-3 teams is really a strong narrative voice.

JE ME SOUVIENS: An open thread to discuss tonight's Closing Ceremonies, and to talk about what we'll remember from these Olympic Games.

Overall, these Games felt like the coronation of the expected -- Team Canada in hockey and curling (three golds and a silver); Kim Yu-Na and Shen & Zhao on the ice; Shaun White in the air; and Apolo Anton Ohno's farewell lap. The most intriguing surprise was in ice dancing -- a sport about which I ordinarily don't care -- but if you didn't smile seeing Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir and those cute kids from Michigan best the dastardly and more-than-borderline racist presentation from the Russian team, well, I'm not sure what Games you were watching. (Incidentally, if you watch nothing else from the figure skating gala, do watch those plucky Canadians.)

Your memories may vary. Let's hope for a fun closing for tonight, and do chime in when there's something worth noting.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THE BANANA IN THE TAILPIPE? The problem with Kevin Smith's Cop Out is that it doesn't quite know if it wants to be an homage to 80s/90s interracial buddy cop flicks or a parody of them. Yes, there are amusing moments, but the tone's all over the place and the movie is indeed something of a mess.

The problem with the movie is, in many ways, the best thing about the movie: Tracy Morgan, who essentially is playing 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan thrown into police work. In other words, he often goes off into these unhinged, nonsensical riffs during the movie -- which, while often funny, undermine the credibility the character needs to remain seen as a competent police officer, which he never does. [You never questioned, by way of contrast, whether Axel Foley was a qualified police officer. Here, you're shocked when he does something right. Also, I felt like there was a whole subplot about Kevin Pollak being a corrupt cop which was snipped from the final version.]

Inserting Tracy-being-Tracy into a script originally written for Robin Williams and James Gandolfini, then Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg (plus the goofiness of the Seann William Scott character) sabotaged the authentic tone which the film was otherwise seeking with its Harold Faltermeyer score and solid Brooklyn location shooting. It added jokes at the expense of coherence, and the result is a movie in which you're never quite sure what kind of movie it is. Wait for cable.