WHY DON'T YOU MAKE MORE MOVIES?  That's the first thing President Obama said to Michael Keaton when they met, and when you read this lengthy interview the latter did with Grantland I imagine you'll  wonder that yourself. (I continue to wait for Johnny Dangerously II: The Danger Within.)  Favorite detail in the piece is that J.J. Abrams tried to get him to sign up for Lost to play Jack Shepherd, back when the plan was to kill Jack in the pilot episode, post-crash, and really unsettle the audience.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION: Mental Floss explains why it hurts so much to get hit in the nuts.

I DON'T MISS YOU BABY, AND NONE OF US WILL MISS A THING:  Steven Tyler is leaving that singing show we've mostly stopped watching, and Jennifer Lopez may be following him out the door.

I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD/I'M A FELINE CASANOVA, HEY, MY OH MY: There were 20 dancers on SYTYCD last night, and I have neither the time nor, given the relatively narrow band of quality on an overall top-notch dancing night, the competence to talk about them all. But I did want to assert one thought and one question.

The thought: it occurs to me that this is only secondarily a competition show, and primarily a show about a bunch of choreographers who the show treats as characters. Jason Gilkinson is the ballroom martinet; Sonya Tayeh the charismatic rebel; Mia Michaels the overemotional mom; NappyTabs the back-of-the-class cut-ups who secretly get good grades. Right now the big narrative arc is Travis Wall's Welcome Back, Kotter story, but it's well deserved: Travis Wall's choreography clearly is the star of the show right now. The dancers -- all of whom ranged from pretty good to excellent (aided by an extra week of rehearsal and, in some cases, some pretty big favors from choreographers) -- are kind of secondary to that. This season has an extremely high level of technical competence and charisma, something that really ought to be nice for the choreographers.

The question: how exactly are they going to handle the eliminations? There's no elimination show now. Somebody on the web pointed out that this suggests that people will have to learn a new piece even though they won't be competing. That can't be true, though, because if the eliminations split up pairs, they won't be able to do the dance. My guess is that they will tape an elimination in front of an audience and then reveal it the following week. I guess we'll find out pretty soon.

DO YOU MIND IF I LOOK AROUND THE CAR A LITTLE BIT?  A line-by-line analysis of the legal accuracy of Jay-Z's "99 Problems."

JUST A LITTLE OUTSIDE: XKCD answers an important -- nay, the critical -- question of our times. What if a pitcher hurled a fastball at .9c?

THE FAULT IN OUR STAR (The Age of Miracles, Red Shirts, and Railsea): Given the fact that I've now read everything that China Mieville and Neal Stephenson have ever written, I'm pretty much past the point where I can credibly say I steer clear of sci-fi. And given the fact that I read The Hunger Games and The Fault in our Stars, and that Amazon keeps recommending spa treatments and fragrant soaps to me, I can't really claim to be too old and too male for YA. But I just read, in succession, the three books in the title, and I have thoughts.