SHOW YOUR TEATS? Watching this week's Amazing Race, I was reminded -- as were you, I'm sure -- of this weekend's episode of This American Life, which highlighted the work of Dr. John Gottman in determing what makes long-term relationships work.
In short -- if you missed the show and haven't read Blink yet (and, Sideshow Malcolm, you've stolen my look) -- Gottman sits down couples and asks them to speak, for fifteen minutes, about a topic on which they disagree. After those 15 minutes, he can determine with an 85% accuracy rate whether that couple will stay together for five years. Turns out, it isn't what couples argue about that matters, or how often they argue, but how they argue: couples that demonstrate defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and especially contempt for each other during their fights aren't likely to last. (And those that can still laugh while they're in trouble, and listen to each other's grievances and respond? More likely to end up okay.)
Ron and Kelly, I'm looking at you.
[remainder of conversation moved to the Comments on Matt's post, since he got here first.]
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