Monday, May 23, 2005

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE FI-AHED: To return to a topic discussed last year, the end of the season has come for cultural institution/comedy show "SNL," and there have been no officially announced depatures for next season. That leads us to a simple question--who's staying, and who's going? More importantly, who should be staying, and who should be going? Season premiere isn't till October, giving Lorne Michaels et al time to plan.

Fred Armisen: Should stay. Will stay. "The Prince Show" and his bits on "Update" (the deaf comedian, at "The Gates") have been pretty much consistently funny, which is far more than can be said for pretty much anyone else on the show.

Rachel Dratch: Should go. Will go. I'd like to begin by thanking Dratch and the writers for not beating "Debbie Downer" into the ground, realizing that just because a sketch is funny, even hysterically funny, once, does not mean that it will be so for all eternity. However, Dratch has run out of stuff--her truly great characters haven't appeared in a while (largely because they played off of people already gone), and her bits have diminished.

Tina Fey: Should go. Will go. The grind of "SNL" is no place for a new mother. Tina, stay at home, work on your next screenplay (the second ever movie that I know of based on a "This American Life" story), and enjoy a quiet life for a while.

Will Forte: Should go. Will go. Completely and utterly bland, aside from "The Falconer," which, honestly, huh?, and Zell Miller, a character that was kind of funny once, but now, just bores.

Darrell Hammond: Should go. Will go. He was needed this year because "Hardball" provided a convenient way of getting into political jokes during an election year. He needs to go off and do something else. His role model should be the late, great, Phil Hartman, who escaped his impressions by creating a wonderfully memorable character on "Newsradio."

Seth Meyers: Should stay. Will stay. At first, I thought Meyers was useless, but he delivered pretty darn well earlier this season as John Kerry and may well provide SNL something it's sorely needed--the ordinary looking straight man, a role previously filled by Hartman and (to a degree) Will Ferrell.

Finesse Mitchell: Should go. Will stay. Hi, Finesse? Tracy Morgan called. He said you're going to have to wait to be a second banana in quality films like "Are We There Yet" a little while longer. Sure, you're not funny, but you fulfill the "obligatory minority" quota.

Chris Parnell: Should go. Will go. He's already got a sitcom lined up, and, well, the only question I have is if he's coming back after that show's almost assured failure.

Amy Poehler: Should go. Will go. With Tina leaving, it's just a matter of time. She'll have a movie career, and will (hopefully) continue to make appearances on her husband's sitcom. Hell, maybe her joining that show would provide it a much needed and deserved ratings boost.

Rob Riggle: Um. Who's Rob Riggle?

Maya Rudolph: Should go. Will go. Donatella Versace was tired two years ago. Now, it's beating a comic dead horse.

Horatio Sanz: Should go. Will go. I repeat the same stuff from last year: "If you cannot keep a straight face during an unfunny sketch, you must go. Also, he wears out his welcome quickly--see, e.g., Gene Shalit. 'I'm fat and Hispanic and stoned!' is not a joke, Horatio."

Kenan Thompson: Should stay. Will stay. Marginally more funny and diverse in his talents than Finesse Mitchell, and the Cosby impression is decent. I'll give him another shot, especially since he works well in conjunction with Armisen.

I think "Update" will have to be handed off, and there's no one in the current cast who I can see doing it effectively. Two thoughts:

1. Bring in an "old guy" to do "Update." A former cast member (Chevy Chase, for instance) could work.
2. Bring in an unknown--hell, I'd be glad to do it, Lorne.

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