A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

SOMETIMES YOU'VE GOTTA BREAK THE RULES: It only took a decade, but the American Idol recapper on TWoP has finally caught up with what The Baffler's Thomas Frank was saying a decade ago.

First, Frank, from "Why Johnny Can't Dissent":

"Nobody wants you to think they're serious today, least of all Time Warner. On the contrary: the Culture Trust is now our leader in the Ginsbergian search for kicks upon kicks. Corporate America is not an oppressor but a sponsor of fun, provider of lifestyle accoutrements, facilitator of carnival, our slang-speaking partner in the quest for that ever-more apocalyptic orgasm. The countercultural idea has become capitalist orthodoxy, its hunger for transgression upon transgression now perfectly suited to an economic-cultural regime that runs on ever-faster cyclings of the new; its taste for self-fulfillment and its intolerance for the confines of tradition now permitting vast latitude in consuming practices and lifestyle experimentation.

"Consumerism is no longer about "conformity" but about "difference." Advertising teaches us not in the ways of puritanical self-denial (a bizarre notion on the face of it), but in orgiastic, never-ending self-fulfillment. It counsels not rigid adherence to the tastes of the herd but vigilant and constantly updated individualism. We consume not to fit in, but to prove, on the surface at least, that we are rock `n' roll rebels, each one of us as rule-breaking and hierarchy-defying as our heroes of the 60s, who now pitch cars, shoes, and beer. . . . In television commercials, through which the new American businessman presents his visions and self-understanding to the public, perpetual revolution and the gospel of rule-breaking are the orthodoxy of the day. You only need to watch for a few minutes before you see one of these slogans and understand the grip of antinomianism over the corporate mind:

• Sometimes You Gotta Break the Rules --Burger King
• If You Don't Like the Rules, Change Them --WXRT-FM
• The Rules Have Changed --Dodge
• The Art of Changing --Swatch
• There's no one way to do it. --Levi's
• This is different. Different is good. --Arby's
• Just Different From the Rest --Special Export beer
• The Line Has Been Crossed: The Revolutionary New Supra --Toyota
• Resist the Usual --the slogan of both Clash Clear Malt and Young & Rubicam
• Innovate Don't Imitate --Hugo Boss
• Chart Your Own Course --Navigator Cologne
• It separates you from the crowd --Vision Cologne

"In most, the commercial message is driven home with the vanguard iconography of the rebel: screaming guitars, whirling cameras, and startled old timers who, we predict, will become an increasingly indispensable prop as consumers require ever-greater assurances that, Yes! You are a rebel! Just look at how offended they are!"

And TWoP, on Bo's going a capella:

There's a spooky kid that looks like Peter Pan over Ryan's shoulder as Ryan mentions, for the first of one million times tonight, how "courageous" Bo's next choice is going to be. The reason it's "bold" and "courageous," of course, is that he's going to sing a cappella, without accompaniment. . . .

But damn, though. I mean, come on. It's so fucking overselling it. Like now all of a sudden somebody that didn't like Bo is going to like him and start voting? Based on them telling us over and over what a fucking amazing accomplishment it was for him to go up against these two other people -- who are not as good as he is -- with yet another tweak to his position on the show? We get it. Simply by loving and voting for Bo, we are giving the show a certain kind of finger. We also get to take a stand -- courageous of us, isn't it -- against boy bands, and Britney Spears, and the corruption of the entertainment industry, and any time we've been embarrassed because we've been duped by the media and felt like jerks for it later.

But this is a fucking onion, this is like fucking eXistenZ, because inside the bubble is another bubble. It's like The Matrix. How do you know there's not a Matrix outside the Matrix? If they are selling rebellion, then how can it still be 'rebellion'? This revolution is being televised. You're assimilating the transgression back into the spectacle, which means it's not revolution, just a new kind of strategy, and I hate it, because I want him to be famous and not care about the rest of it, but I really hate the way they've chosen to market him. It's like punk. Marissa Cooper listens to punk, and she bought the albums at Virgin records. On CD. Elvis was punk once too. You know?

All we need now is for Thomas Frank to explain why there's only been one blue-stater in four years of AI finals, and for Bo to sing "Dust In The Wind" Tuesday night so that Simon Cowell can resolve, once and for all, what the matter is with Kansas. (And, by the way, who ya got?)