A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

NOW BOARDING, ALL ROWS, ALL SEATS: I found this article about airplane boarding fascinating. For a long time, I've observed that airplane boarding takes far longer than it really needs to for various reasons. Probably the top two are that people invariably try to stuff ridiculous amounts of stuff in the overhead bin and manage to block the entire aisle while doing so, and the frequent backups that occur when the aisle passenger boards first, with window and middle passengers coming later, forcing everyone to get up and shuffle around. The various solutions used by some airlines (open boarding, the "reverse pyramid," and the "rotating zone") attempt to solve this, but can you improve upon it?