A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

NOW YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW HE DID IT WOULD HAVE DONE IT: Fox, bowing to intense pressure from an interest group composed of people possessing greater than or equal to (a) half a functioning brain; and (b) the smallest detectable nonzero amount of decency (i.e., the public, speaking through its designated representatives, advertisers and booksellers), has decided not to publish or air OJ Simpson's tale of how, hypothetically, he would have murdered his ex-wife and a waiter trying to protect her if he were the murdering type. No word on whether Fox already has paid or still will pay Simpson, Judith Regan, or any ghostwriter desperate enough to punch up what could have been a brief, dry one-liner ("I would have stabbed them each several times and then tried to sever their heads, ha ha, give me money please"), but here's hoping that all involved live the rest of their lives friendless and self-loathing.