Monday, August 27, 2007

LET US REST FOR A MOMENT WHILE THE JOKE WRITES ITSELF: South Carolina, in an effort to draw attention to its literacy problems, decided to dramatize its plight with this answer to the question "why are we so dumb?" during the Miss Teen U.S.A. pageant. Miss Teen U.S.A., you may recall, is a "scholarship pageant," in which contestants compete for a "scholarship," presumably to a "college" (though that's only the ninth prize listed on the official pageant web site, right after the year's worth of hair care products and right before the RITMO MUNDO jumbo jet mystery time piece, which may be either a watch, a secret airplane, or a Saturday-morning Univision variety show).

Thing Throwers, I ask you to join me in bridging the gap in U.S. America between the map-haves and the map-have-nots, and maybe also South Africa and the Iraq.

Double bonuses: (1) It takes a special person to be so flounderingly inarticulate that TNBC charter member Mario Lopez, a man not known for his algebra skills, has to bite his lip to keep from laughing; (2) Your brutal interrogator: ALOTT5MA fave Aimee Teegaardeen.

Hat tip: Everywhere on the Internet.

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