A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

DON'T WAFFLE ON THIS ONE: Certain blog posts and news events call upon specific friends for assistance. For this one, it could only be Mr. Cosmopolitan:

September. The days are shorter, evening commuters revel in the nip of coming autumn, Sunday afternoons are again sacrosanct bastions of gridiron combat. School buses resume their daily patrols, nature bedecks herself in kaleidoscopic splendor, and barristers everywhere tingle in anticipation of a new Supreme Court term. At times like these, it is perhaps inevitable that one’s thoughts turn to the repercussions of 19th century European realpolitik – specifically, the fate of Belgium.

For a nation some 54 years the junior of the United States, Belgium has carved a fine niche for itself on the world stage. Its creation soothed tensions between the Calvinist Netherlands and Roman Catholic France. Its scrupulous neutrality has allowed Brussels to serve as common ground for a host of international organizations, including NATO and the European Union. And its contributions to world gastronomy are nothing less than spectacular – fine chocolates, frites, the eponymous waffles (and their successor, the ice-cream cone), and Trappist abbey ale.

But on the other hand, what’s so great about a country that essentially serves as a highway for France and Germany to invade each other, and the name of which the rest of the universe considers the foulest of insults? It doesn’t even have its own language, just two outrageous accents: Dutch and French. And, frankly, Brussels sprouts far outweigh the salutary cuisine springing from this country. Perhaps the archaic remnant of von Metternich’s world design should be consigned to the ash heap of history. Dutch-dominated Flanders can hi-diddily-hightail it back to the Netherlands, and French Walloons can return to a country where they will still be insulted, but now in a language they can understand.

To resolve this most pressing and perplexing of issues, the proprietors of the weblog “ALOTT5MA” invite their readers, lurkers, and guests to join them in the comments to debate the following:

RESOLVED: This Blog No Longer Believes in Belgium.