Sunday, October 14, 2007

ON A STEEL HORSE THEY RIDE: With them appearing on SNL this weekend, it strikes me as an appropriate time to Keltnerize Bon Jovi, which will be up for Rock Hall Induction next year.

1. Was Bon Jovi ever regarded as the best artist in rock music? Did anybody, while they were active, ever suggest that Bon Jovi was the best artist in rock music?

A bunch of teenage girls? Yes. Critics? Not so much. (Though "Livin' On A Prayer" was the #5 single in Pazz and Jop 1987.)

2. Was Bon Jovi ever the best artist in rock music in its genre?

In the genre of "Arena rock bands from New Jersey," everyone is a distant second place to Bruuuuuceee!

3. Was any member of Bon Jovi ever considered the best at his instrument/role?

No. The closest you come is Richie Sambora, and he's certainly not a guitar virtuoso.

4. Did Bon Jovi have an impact on a number of other bands?

Arena rock as a genre has dropped out of fashion in recent years, but there are certainly elements of Bon Jovi in, say, Kid Rock.

5. Was Bon Jovi good enough that they could play regularly after passing its prime?

Sure. Several hiatuses, but the band continues to play to this day, and play pretty well. They had a #1 country hit just a few years back.

6. Is Bon Jovi the very best artist in history that is not in the Hall of Fame?

I doubt it, but next year's class is pretty uninspiring from a commercial perspective. (Billy Bragg, k.d. lang, and Stevie Ray Vaughn have strong cases from other angles, and Run-DMC is likely a gimme.) That's probably a mark in their favor, since the odds of a year without inducting a name band seem small.

7. Are most bands who have a comparable recording history and impact in the Hall of Fame?

Yeah. 100M worldwide record sales is a pretty elite club and the vast majority of the eligibles are already in.

8. Is there any evidence to suggest that Bon Jovi was significantly better or worse than is suggested by its statistical records?

Critics hate 'em, audiences love 'em, and the band's always been a little defensive about it (witness the 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can't Be Wrong album title). Probably about even.

9. Is Bon Jovi the best artist in its genre who is eligible for the Hall of Fame?

"Jersey Arena Rock." Behind Bruuuce!, who's already in, but in terms of those who aren't yet in or who will be eligible in the next few years, arguably a front runner.

10. How many #1 singles/gold records did Bon Jovi have? Did Bon Jovi ever win a Grammy award? If not, how many times was Bon Jovi nominated?

4 #1 Hot 100 singles--"You Give Love a Bad Name," "Livin' On a Prayer," "Bad Medicine," and "I'll Be There For You." 1 #1 Country Single--"Who Says You Can't Go Home." Jon bon Jovi hit #1 solo with "Blaze Of Glory." 1 Diamond Album (Slippery When Wet), 8 Platinum Albums (Bon Jovi, 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit, New Jersey, Keep The Faith, These Days, Crush, Have A Nice Day, Cross Road), 3 Gold Albums (Bounce, Lost Highway, 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can't Be Wrong). Not a single studio album has failed to go gold. 1 Grammy, for "Who Says You Can't Go Home" (Best Country Collaboration). Other Grammy nominations, Oscar nomination and Golden Globe win for "Blaze of Glory").

11. How many Grammy-level songs/albums did Bon Jovi have? For how long of a period did Bon Jovi dominate the music scene? How many Rolling Stone covers did Bon Jovi appear on? Did most of the bands with this sort of impact go into the Hall of Fame?

You can't go into a Karaoke bar pretty much anywhere in America without hearing the rendition of a Bon Jovi song, giving them a pretty good score on the "endurance" scale. While Bon Jovi didn't "dominate," aside from the Slippery When Wet period, they've been present on the music scene and a force pretty consistently. At least two Rolling Stone covers.

12. If Bon Jovi was the best band at a concert, would it be likely that the concert would rock?

Not in a debauched way, at least not any more, but yeah, there'd be rockin'.

13. What impact did Bon Jovi have on rock history? Was he responsible for any stylistic changes? Did he introduce any new equipment? Did he change history in any way?

Not really, other than the importance of hair as a marketing vehicle.

14. Did the band uphold the standards of sportsmanship and character that the Hall of Fame, in its written guidelines, instructs us to consider?

You've got both the light and dark side. Jon Bon Jovi married his high school sweetheart and has remained with her, while Sambora married, then divorced, Heather Locklear and, at one point, dated Denise Richards. Band has also done a lot of charitable work.

Verdict:
I'm not sure if the quality is quite there, but the statistics and longevity strike me as enough to make them a good bet for induction, especially given the reinvention--the band's managed to go from hair arena rock to overly earnest arena rock to country to adult contemporary rock--in other words, to move from MTV to VH1, with a fair degree of class. Induct, but only marginally so.

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