Wednesday, May 19, 2010

HIGHER, FASTER, INSCRUTABLER:

Wenlock (L) and Mandeville (R), London 2012's newly-debuted Olympic mascots, salute their Fuhrer. Wenlock is named for a minor Shakespearean moneylender; his one-eyed scowl approximates his namesake's contempt for his clientele. Mandeville, the mascot for the Paralympics, bears a stylized resemblance to an early Paralympian afflicted with a rare genitalia-freezing disorder.

18 comments:

  1. And here I thought they were going with a 'walking cctv' themed mascot. Welcome to London, you will be surveilled, have a nice day!

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  2. Jenn C.4:33 PM

    Wow. That's bad. I daresay, even worse than Izzy.

    It's like Muno from Yo Gabba Gabba mixed with the aliens on the Simpsons, with a dose of Taruanga Leela mixed in.

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  3. The Pathetic Earthling4:34 PM

    Finally, Izzy will have someone to make fun of.

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  5. The Pathetic Earthling4:53 PM

    Thank you GUEST

    My name is Princess Mary Oulajuwan and I am being held in home outside of LAGOS NIGERIA against my will. I am heir to $25USD MILLION but cannot ACCESS this amount in the BKAN OF NIGERIA without outside assistance.

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  6. Jenn.5:25 PM

    Yay! Mascots that are worse than Izzy! [Throws around peach-colored confetti in honor of the event.]

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  7. bill.5:47 PM

    Mutated teletubbies are still better mascots than Izzy.

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  8. Jenn.6:27 PM

    Dammit!

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  9. patricia9:18 PM

    Disagree completely. One of them looks incontinent! That trumps really almost everything, Izzy included.

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  10. Leslie9:47 PM

    Is there a reason Olympics need to have mascots? How about a mascot-free Olympics?

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  11. To each his own. But if a gun were placed to my forehead and I had to choose, I'm picking one-eyed incontinence over 6-foot tall Smurf sperm.

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  12. Two things: 1. The mascots at the Vancouver Olympics were AWESOME, so it can most certainly be done right. I was especially fond of Quatchi. 2. The London mascots are precisely the kind of mascots I'd expect from an organization whose logo was famously described as "Lisa Simpson performing fellatio on a stranger."

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  13. mikeski9:27 AM

    You wet yourself! You wet yourself! Mr. Mandeville wet himself, Daddy!

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  14. bristlesage9:38 AM

    Wesley Snipes from 30 Rock was right! London is not ready to host the Games.

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  15. Genevieve9:39 AM

    Mandeville needs to be sent to Mandyville.

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  16. Merchandise. Kids like stuffed toys.

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  17. There is a video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KatN365jaBg&feature=player_embedded

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  18. Jenn.5:57 PM

    Heh. I also note that, while both of London's mascots are awful, Atlanta's Paralympics mascot, Blaze the Phoenix, was awesome.

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