Friday, June 8, 2012

IF I'M A MUPPET, THEN I'M A VERY MANLY MUPPET: Most of Dahlia Lithwick's stuff is off-topic for this blog, but when she argues that both the world of people and the world of Muppets can be divided into Chaos Muppets and Order Muppets.  Please take the time to classify yourself and/or celebrities into such categories, as well as being amused by the concept of a Muppet Supreme Court.  (I am plainly an Order Muppet.)

39 comments:

  1. Heather K11:15 AM

    CHAAAAAOOOOSSSSSS MUPPET right here!  I am marrying an order muppet in September who not only alphabetizes his cds by category (because green day plainly cannot be in the same section as Oscar Peterson and Thelonious Monk) but also has the storage system jiggered so his favorite living jazz pianists cds can fall in such a place that he can always see them from anywhere in the living room.

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  2. bristlesage11:29 AM

    Order Muppet, man.  You should see my Olympic viewing spreadsheets, or maybe the ones that I prepare in advance of a big vacation.  But I'm a spontaneous Order Muppet, if that's a thing--no issue throwing out a whole weekend of beautifully-planned events for a great deal on plane tickets or whatever.  And those spontaneous things are pure Chaos Muppetry.

    I am married to an Order Muppet, though.  I mean, it's been almost 8 years, but I guess we'll see how long it lasts.

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  3. Order Muppet, who occasionally yells about being a Chaos Muppet but knows it's a farce.  Also, if you walked into my apartment you'd think I was a Chaos Muppet, but I know where literally EVERYTHING is and if you fuck with my system, I keel you.

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  4. Andrew11:57 AM

    Neurotic, huge eyebrows, I'm definitely an Order Muppet. 

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  5. I'm certainly married to an Order Muppet so that means I'm a chaos muppet.  Like the author, though, I think I have an order muppet interior. 

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  6. isaac_spaceman11:59 AM

    I am Order Muppet, obviously, in most things, but in some physical orderliness matters (keeping house; keeping a clean office; not letting work clothes go wrinkly; choice of casual clothing) I tend toward Chaos Muppet.  It also will not surprise people that if displays of emotion are considered the domain of Chaos Muppets, there are certain circumstances under which I can be provoked into that state.  Maybe it's best to say that my strategy is Order Muppet and my tactics are Chaos Muppet. 

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  7. Andrew12:08 PM

    <span>But like any true Muppet, my orgazational skills are chaotic. The giant pile of papers, computers and peripherals that is burying my desk looks entirely chaotic, but is very structured and ordered in a way that may be comprehensible only to me. It's very Muppetty that it's order by way of chaos. </span><span>
    </span>

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  8. I'm an Order Muppet, but like Andrew and Isaac, my order can seem chaotic to others, especially when it comes to piles of things (papers, clothes, books, etc.) But I know where the order lies in the chaos.

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  9. The Other Kate12:23 PM

     Chaos Muppet trying to pass/deny. The Monster at the End of This Book is basically a map of my psyche.

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  10. Meghan12:24 PM

    Order Muppet but I did just spill lunch down myself, making me look like chaos.

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  11. I'm an Order Muppet, but have dreams of being a Chaos Muppet (and I'm totally attracted to Chaos Muppets). If I think about it, even my chaotic impulses aren't that chaotic. I might have a random emotional outburst, but it probably has been brewing for sometime without anyone noticing the storm because of the ordered outside. Similarly, I'm happy to be spontaneous in terms of plans--I'd say that I'm even happy to make major changes in my life--but I hate limbo. You want to do something at the last minute? Great! If I'm free, I'm there. You want to change dinner or vacation plans to something else? Great! The only problem is that I don't want to think for months about something, I want to make a decision and go with it. I will figure out how to order the rest of my life around the decision, but make a decision already. As Maret said, I know where the order lies in the chaos. Or more likely, I will make order out of the chaos.

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  12. spacewoman12:40 PM

    Definitely a Chaos Muppet.  And yet one would be hard pressed to find a more Orderly Muppet than spaceboy #1, an 8 year old child who has already drafted (and printed) his schedule for the entire summer, right down to the daily 6 a.m. wake up time.

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  13. Mind you, despite the fact that I am generally an Order Muppet, I currently have a 12 square foot pile of various old electronics and other things that I'm preparing to donate to the Salvation Army sitting in my living room.

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  14. Devin McCullen1:04 PM

    Order Muppet, but so lazy/poorly motivated that I have a strong tendency to slide into chaos. Every few years I'll re-organize my stuff, but it never takes.

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  15. gretchen1:18 PM

    That whole description of plans versus spontaneity is dead-on for me, too.  I am happy to make plans and break plans, but there has to be A Plan.  I think that makes me a classic J on the Myers-Briggs.

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  16. gretchen1:21 PM

    I think I'm a Chaos Muppet masquerading as an Order Muppet. 

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  17. isaac_spaceman1:33 PM

    If Order Muppets were real, they would pray to Spaceboy 1.0.  Last week, I got a new alarm clock.  The first thing he said:  "can I have your old alarm clock?"  He has been wearing a watch (analog, not digital) probably since he was three.  He has memorized all two boards of the rules at our local mini-golf course, and interrupted his birthday party last weekend to read the rules at a trampoline warehouse.  He has numbered all of the rooms in our house for easy reference.  When we took him to a Dan Zane's concert and swiped the set list from a monitor for him, he borrowed a pen and turned all of the abbreviations for songs into their full song titles.

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  18. I feel I need to go to more trampoline warehouses.

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  19. Watts2:00 PM

    I'm a Chaos Muppet moonlighting occasionally as an Order Muppet. Or maybe it's the other way around.

    Order Muppet: Playlist maker, Reference Collection linear footage measurer, Library web server weeder, Packing list writer

    Chaos Muppet: Spontaneous pudding wrassler, Biscuit Festival Beauty Pageant Burlesque Dancer, It's Summer and I Like This CD Let's Keep Going til We Get Lost Driver.

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  20. Watts2:02 PM

    Waitaminute - I just realized the Muppet That Breaks the Paradigm - Oscar the Grouch. Lives in trash: Chaos Muppet. Despises disruption: Order Muppet. Crazy Hair: Chaos Muppet. Imposing Eyebrows: Order Muppet.

    And A LOT of you sound a little bit like Oscar (but in a non-Grouchy way).

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  21. Jessica2:13 PM

    Ditto.

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  22. Jessica2:13 PM

    Ditto.

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  23. Jenn.2:13 PM

    In ever so many ways, most people would say that I am an Order Muppet.  But those who know me well see that there is a bit of Chaos Muppet in me.

    Also:  Love Grover and totally should be the one who gets to drive.  Dammit.

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  24. Genevieve2:18 PM

    Chaos Muppet with an Order Muppet core.  My favorite muppets were always the Chaos ones (Ernie and Grover especially), and I am naturally messy/cluttery and tend to spend time relaxing that could be spent organizing (and then regret it a little because I would prefer to live in a more organized environment, but I want to relax / have fun more than I want to do the work of imposing order - I envy my Order Muppet friends' houses but not enough to regularly organize, though I'm working on it).  Love to laugh, get silly, do the completely goofy Washington Post Hunt, etc.  And my hair is definitely Chaos.

    My Order Muppet core is that I'm an inveterate rule-abider (so you'd think I'd sympathize with Bert more), and major amounts of change make me anxious.  But smaller changes can be great.

    I impose small amounts of order on my naturally chaotic mind by doing things like keeping a detailed family calendar with frequent pop-up reminders, using a saved packing list (because otherwise I forget things and get annoyed about it), etc.  The Unclutterer website is helping too.

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  25. Jessica2:20 PM

    I try really really hard to organize myself and mostly end up with half-done organizational systems which ultimately do little to nothing to help me find things. I recently started keeping a calender, which means I loaded tons of events onto my calender once and now have not added a thing in weeks.

    Chaos.

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  26. Becca2:23 PM

    Hmm, this one is tough! I say I'm more order, but I've never alphabetized any of my collections. I usually keep all the books by the same author together on the shelf, but they're not in any order. And I am a consummate planner. I agree with what was said earlier, that I'm fine with scrapping a plan, but you had BETTER have another plan to replace it. The last time I met up with a group of people who didn't know where they wanted to eat, it took 3 HOURS to decide. No, that is not ok. I'm a producer, so I'm by nature an organizer. I can make easy sense of chaos. So, I'm an order muppet with a chaos streak? 

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  27. Craig Pearlman2:54 PM

    I think I have an inner Order Muppet (I like things in their place, but I tend to be lackadasical about actually *doing* it), but my favorites are essentially the list of Chaos Muppets (my first word *was* "cookie") and I do tend toward crazy outbursts and randomness (the drugs help, I swear!).

    Four parentheticals. I can't even type orderly. Chaos. Definitely chaos. Me want cookie.

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  28. Craig Pearlman2:56 PM

    Ain't nothing wrong with grouchy.

    Or, to quote Mr. Chappelle: "B*tch, I live in a f*cking trash can!"

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  29. Adam C.3:03 PM

    <span>There's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the Order Muppet is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of Chaos Muppets. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been saying that shit for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this morning made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking, maybe it means you're the Chaos Muppet, and I'm the Order Muppet, and Mr. 9 millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the Order Muppet and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's chaotic and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is, you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of the Chaos Muppet. But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.</span>

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  30. gretchen3:05 PM

    He sounds like my husband, who has never met a rule that he didn't memorize.  Perhaps they could go mini-golfing together :) 

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  31. Adam C.3:08 PM

    I think what I'm trying to say here is that I vacillate between Order and Chaos, with the best of intentions. 

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  32. Adam C.3:41 PM

    And also, that Jules Winnfield's hair (and facial hair) is totally Chaos Muppet.

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  33. Mr. Cosmo8:40 PM

    Please note:  Order Muppets are also Beatles fans over Stones, Paul over John, and Sean Connery over Roger Moore.  OK, maybe that last one is a false dichotomy.

    Given that at age 40 my sole remaining stuffed animal is Kermit the Frog, it's safe to say I'm Lawful Order Neutral Muppet.

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  34. Oooh--Muppet Alignment Chart (unsurprisingly, someone has already done it).  I do quibble with the Lawful Evil, which seems to be more appropriate for Uncle Deadly.

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  35. victoria11:21 PM

    Chaos Muppet here who does have alphabetized CDs. The thing is, the CDs and yarn are the ONLY things that are organized.

    My husband is clearly Chaos too. This works because we both have very low standards for organization & planning, and very high standards for weird.

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  36. kenedy jane11:27 PM

    Order Muppet.  No doubt.  Wish I was more chaos but clearly not in my DNA. 

    A couple of folks mentioned not minding a plan changing as long as there is a new plan.  I'm all over that - particularly when on vacation/traveling.  I have a friend (Order Muppet also) and she has a great system.  When going out to eat, someone suggests a restaurant.  Anyone has a right to decline but only if they have an alternative suggestion.  I think she also imposes a time limit.  Works unbelievably well.

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  37. Except, apparently, the red Netflix envelope.  I never know where that is.

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  38. Andrea11:15 AM

    Order Muppet.  Dealing with Chaos Muppets at work and at home.  Which is why it took me 24 hours to read this post.  Sigh.

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  39. Philomena Throckmorton12:12 PM

    Order Muppet, indubitably, although a somewhat disorganized one.  As a child I loathed Ernie and felt sorry for Bert. 

    Married to a very conscientious and reliable Chaos Muppet.

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