TOUCHED BY A LAWYER: The CW's current slate of pilot pickups has one that seems particularly bizarre--Heavenly, in which a young attorney at a legal aid clinic is actually an angel sent from heaven to do...um...lawyer things. Joe Adalian of Vulture has already made the obvious joke, but I'm just grateful that we're one step closer to allowing another SNL hatched idea to become a real series.

Y'KNOW, THE SHOW IS NOT TITLED "THE MOLE":  So who was responsible for leaking to SurvivorSuck the remarkably accurate boot orders for the two Russell Hantz seasons?  Russell Hantz himself, who may now find himself liable for up to $5m in liquidated damages.  (The Russell v. Boston Rob season begins in two weeks.)

And there are now reports (denied, but we'll see) that a future season will feature Richard Hatch v. Jonny Fairplay. It would be a third season for each, and it would not surprise me in the least to find the producers willing to ignore Hatch's in-game naked assault on Susan Hawk (and his criminal record, obvs) and Fairplay's essentially quitting his second season .. because, hey, familiarity=ratings.

added: Andy Denhart has the CBS statement, which makes one think they may not be suing. (Reworded to avoid choosing between CBS's and CBS'.)

CAN KING GEORGE DANCE THE BLACK SWAN IN A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM WHILE MAKING THOUSANDS OF FRIENDS, HIGH ON CRYSTAL METH AND ONE-HANDED?   AMC Theaters are again running a two-day Best Picture Showcase splitting the ten films between on February 19 and 26, and selected cities also have the option of the single-day, twenty-three hour marathon of all ten film in a row starting with Toy Story 3 at 10am and culminating with The King's Speech beginning at 7:05 the following morning.  (Particularly cruel, or appropriate: Inception at 2am.)

FRIDAY GRAMMAR RODEO, MONDAY EDITION: This very special Monday episode of Friday Grammar Rodeo is brought to you by a friendly but stalemated dispute between two lawyers concerning the necessity of a comma. Please tell me which of the following constructions is correct (noting that the second entry uses a comma after the third word):

1. He thinks that if he asks for directions, his membership in the brotherhood of men will be revoked. He would rather be lost.
2. He thinks that, if he asks for directions, his membership in the brotherhood of men will be revoked. He would rather be lost.

I won't tell you which one I favor, because you'll just vote against me out of spite. And yet I trust your collective opinion, which is a mystery unto itself.

RUNTIME ERROR: While waiting for True Grit* to start, Spacewoman and I were treated to the trailer for Jake Gyllenhaaal's upcoming thriller, Source Code, about a top-secret government technology that allows Person A to take over Person B's body for the last eight minutes of Person B's life. Gyllenhaaaal is forced to relive the same eight minutes of some guy's life again and again to avert a terrorist attack and to woo Katie Holmes's stand-in. It's kind of Groundhog Hard: With a Vengeance, I guess.

Is the eight-minute limitation the most arbitrary central plot contrivance ever concocted? Why eight minutes? After that, the Fetzer valve runs out of 3-in-one oil and gauze pads? The midichlorians get restless? Just enough time for Gyllenhaaaaal's Eight-Minute Abs video? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

*Loads of fun.

SOME PEOPLE CAN READ WAR AND PEACE AND COME AWAY THINKING IT'S A SIMPLE ADVENTURE STORY. OTHERS CAN READ THE INGREDIENTS ON A CHEWING GUM WRAPPER AND UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE:   Gene Hackman turns 81 today, which is a good enough reason to link to this PopWatch item asking whether he, Robert Redford (74) or Warren Beatty (73) will ever act again.

OR GET OFF THE POT: Via SomethingAwful, the least essential Wikipedia page of all -- "defecation postures."