AI QUICK COMMENTS: First things first: if you're going to have the legendary Smokey Robinson on the show, given all the man has written, then it should be Smokey Robinson Night. The man is a legend, and to have him have to adjudicate performances of a lesser talent (though Billy Joel is a talent) is insulting to all this man has done.

Onto the performances. Not much to say:

Kim C: has reached her limit. She doesn't have the range you need to succeed. She may not be gone this week, but she ain't winning.
Ruben: Meh. "Just the Way You Are" was fine, but no better. But a Ruben 'Meh' is better than almost anyone else.
Kim L: Solid rendition of "New York State of Mind". She had it going on.
GoatGirl: Bleating in full effect. Go away. I knew it'd be bad, but not this bad.
Josh: I don't think you're supposed to look angry when singing "Piano Man".
Trenyce: Way oversung. Not subtle at all. Missed opportunity.
Clay: If you're going to go uptempo, do it the whole way. That intro scared me.

An unthrilling week. Bring on the masked dudes.

"THIS IS MY FACE": Leaving no stone uncovered in this blog's non-stop coverage of political news from the Iwate Prefecture, I am compelled to report that Iwate Gov. Hiroya Masuda has announced his disapproval of The Great Sasuke's mask-wearing:

"I'm sure it's a matter of opinion, but I think he should take the mask off," Masuda said. "Politicians make painful decisions, and also express joy, and voters look at their faces and decide (whether they accept those actions). Voters should be allowed to see a politician's facial expressions."

Full article is here.

It is worth noting that Gov. Masuda is described on his official profile as "tolerant". Ahem.

THIS RUG I HAVE . . . IT REALLY TIED THE ROOM TOGETHER: Lebowski Soundboard. Go. Now.

HOPEFULLY, THIS MEANS MORE VOLLEYBALL COVERAGE: First, it was The Nashville Network. They then bought the rights to WWF programming and SlamBall, decountrified by ditching Bo and Luke for Crockett and Tubbs and became The National Network.

And now . . . it's Spike TV?

"We love Spike," network President Albie Hecht says. "It's a guy's name, it has personality, it's smart, sexy. It's unapologetically male ... it's aggressive and it's irreverent. Those are all of the qualities we really want for the first network for men."

Um . . . isn't that second?

SOON WE'LL BE MAKING ANOTHER RUN: In a real stunner, the S.S. United States, whose fading, rusting hulk has sat on Philadelphia's waterfront since 1996, has been purchased by Norwegian Cruise Lines. NCL plans to refurbish the glamorous steamship and restore it to its full majesty as an active member of its fleet.





Things to know about the S.S. United States:

--It still holds the record for the fastest Atlantic Ocean crossing -- three days, 10 hours and 42 minutes.

--The ship measures 990 feet long, and is the longest passenger vessel ever built in the United States. It's bigger than any battleship, and is 110 feet longer than the puny RMS Titanic.

--The SS United States' $79 million construction cost was heavily underwritten by the federal government. After the wartime success of Britain's Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth, as troop transports, the Navy wanted a superliner of their own that could be easily converted to troopship duty. The United States was constructed so that in just one day, she could be converted into a troop transport capable of carrying over 15,000 men,and could steam non-stop anywhere in the world in less than 10 days. Wow.

--The United States made 400 transatlantic crossings before being pushed aside by jet travel in 1969.

--Famous folks loved sailing on the SSUS. See these pictures of a young Charlton Heston with his son, Marlon Brando chillin' with Salvador Dali, Bob Hope dining with Alfred Hitchcock, and many, many more.

Here are some fabulous pictures of the boat during its sailing days. Here's the menu had you been dining on board on September 1, 1967. The S.S. United States Foundation, dedicated to preserving the ship, can tell you even more.

Go ahead: take a tour.

FIRST U.S. NEWS, NOW THIS: Moody's Investors Services, which analyzes the financial health of institutions to gauge their credit worthiness, has downgraded Williams College in its latest rankings. No longer is that wretched hive of scum and villainy AAA-rated like their peer institutions, and they may have to borrow at higher rates of interest for the foreseeable future.

What happened? As their own spin makes clear, Williams is taking on $173 million in total debt, including a new $113 million offering, apparently in order to finance much-needed campus renovations. Unfortunately, recent endowment losses and poor investment returns have made this issuance a bit more weighty on their coffers than it would've otherwise been.

"DESTINED TO ENDURE AS WEDDING SONGS OR FLORIST ADS": Is Kelly Clarkson a superstar in the making, or is it already too late? Why was her album's delayed from November to today? And what kind of sound is right for her?

This well-written profile of Clarkson covers all that and more. In this excerpt, Clarkson explains why she recorded an r&b/soul-based album instead of straightforward pop, even though, as judge Simon Cowell has asserted, "that's not her market":

"Normally with new artists, like Pink and Christina, they end up saying, you know, 'My first album wasn't me.' They bring out the second album and say, 'This is me. This is who I am.' But the show made it easier for me to say, 'No, this is what I want to do.' All I heard for the past couple years was, 'Oh, I can't sell you. You have no image.' And that's just so sad. I'm a singer. That's my image."

So while she's quite willing to make a teen-driven musical beach movie to cash in on "American Idol" and prime the pump for her CD, she's conscious of how she's presented. You can lead Kelly Clarkson to water, but you can't make her frolic in a thong. That's what the extras are there for.