But I do know what were the real things that made the first season so damn irresistible, so let me set forth what I think are the necessary preconditions to Season Two being a success:
1. A likeable 'Joe'. For the show to work, we have to have sympathy for the guy. Evan Marriott worked really well because he was uncomfortable with the whole enterprise, that he wasn't crazy about lying to the women about his background. Also, he wasn't that good at lying in the first place. Remember when he couldn't make up a fake middle name?
This was also a guy who could toss of lines like "She looked like a million dollars . . . not that I know what a million dollars looks like," and be endearing as heck doing so.
2. Who are the real sadists? Only the producers. For the show to work, we can't see our fake millionaire enjoying this at all. The moment he starts taking pleasure from deceiving these Eurobimbos is the second our sympathies shift and it all starts becoming something less than entertaining. We're all better off if our cowboy had no idea what he was getting into, just like the women.
3. Cheeky editing. Tone is crucial. Remember Zora's Disney montage? I knew you did. Perceptive editors with a sense of humor, more than anything else, made that first season so great.
4. The butler does it. Again, it's all about the tone, and Paul Hogan set the table last season by bringing the right mix of snark and sweetness to his part. To the extent that anyone on-screen was "the bad guy", he took the role without being cruel about it. Alex McLeod, of course, is gone. She has been replaced. (She seemed to leave the chateau halfway through season one once the producers realized what a good thing they had in Hogan.)
The only thing I'd like to see more of? "Millionaire training". I loved the whole "which wine?" session from last season's pilot, and I want to see more like it.
Season Two can work, but it's by no means guaranteed. The first season invited us to laugh at all the contestants, including Joe M. himself, by finding the right balance between seriousness-within-the-relationship-seeking versus spoofing the people caught up in the game. (MoJo! The poem!)
So sit back, catch up on the TWoP recaps from last season to remind you of what fun we had, and let's hope for the best Monday night.