SUICIDE IS PAINLESS, YET HE DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES: I'm sure in the days ahead, there will be rumors that Allan Arbus, who portrayed M*A*S*H's Dr. Sidney Freeman, was suffocated by a Korean mother in the back of a bus at the behest of Alan Alda. But he died of natural causes at 95. Dr Freeman was o doubt my favorite recurring non-regular character, but he was no doubt responsible for my deep-felt fear of being hypnotized.

PRODUCT SPOKESPERSONS WHOM I DO NOT NEED TO SEE RE-SITUATED INTO A NARRATIVE UNIVERSE, FOR $500, ALEX:  Cap'n Crunch; Kool-Aid Man. Seriously, I never want to see a quote like this:

“For us, this was about getting Kool-Aid Man back to his roots,” says Erica Rendall, Senior Brand Manager at Kraft Foods. “He is still a walking, talking, seven-foot jug of delicious Kool-Aid. This is a great opportunity for people who love the Kool-Aid Man to get to know him in a way they didn’t before.”

SOON TO BE SEEN AT A STADIUM NEAR YOU:  Daenerys Stormborn, of the House Targaryen, of the blood of old Valyria, gets the slow clap.

Related: inside the credits astrolabe; GoT theme music performed on the UW-Madison Carillon; this week's episode as a series of Facebook updates.

THE CHOIR INVISIBLE: We like lists around here. So how about 101 euphemisms for death taken from real-life (or, rather, real-Translated to the Temple Above) tombstones. I'm particularly fond of "Remanded."

THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THESE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, MAN. I GET OLDER, THEY STAY THE SAME AGE: It hardly counts as "news," but it's nice to see in graph form just how consistently Hollywood Leading Men Not Named "Tom Hanks" keep getting cast with much younger love interests, no matter how much the men age.

WITH STEVE ZAHN CURRENTLY AUDITIONING FOR THE KEY ROLE OF "IT":  Remember that super awesome WSJ A-hed from January on the 40-something year-old guys who play Tag Across America one month every year?  Because Will Ferrell and Jack Black are now attached to star in a film adaptation, so long as someone can come up with a script and all those other little details.

SAFE AT ANY SPEED:  I did not realize just how close were to having self-driving cars reach the market.