A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE: I was not a particularly gifted philosophy student. Eventually, I discovered that I preferred empirical analysis rather than theory. In keeping with that predilection, here is an almost wholly empirical report about which songs got people to dance at the dance party I mentioned earlier.

Two quick notes. First. we brought along our disco ball (yes, we own a disco ball, doesn’t everyone?). That was clearly a step in the right direction.

Second, obviously this was a small sample. You might get totally different results with a different group of people:

• Get Down Tonight (A-) (K.C. is a guru)
• Super Freak (A) (this got an awesome response)
• To Be Real (B+)
• Everybody, Everybody (A-)
• Always and Forever (A) (slow dances are a great way to get shy people to dance)
• Gone Daddy Gone (A-) (this was the version by Gnarls Barkley, which is quite similar to the original)
• Dancing With Myself (A) (probably the second most successful song all night)
• Don’t You Want Me (A-) (everyone sang along with this)
• Venus (B-)
• Walking on Sunshine (B-/C+) (a much weaker reaction than I expected)
• I Want You Back (A) (someone remarked that if you did not want to dance to this one you should check your pulse to see if you might be dead)
• This Is How We Do It (B+) (Not as big as I thought it would be. Another minor problem is that the spoken word introduction and fadeout are momentum killers.)
• Crazy in Love (B+) (I love this one. The crowd liked it.)
• Love Rollercoaster (A-)
• Hey Ya (A+) (I figured this would be a good, but this was outstanding. Clearly the most successful song of the night)
• Another Night, Another Dream (A-) (two people asked me for a copy of this song)
• I Wanna Be Your Lover (B+)
• Disco Inferno (B+)
• Shame (B)
• Turn the Beat Around (A-) (the original, of course)
• Off the Wall (A-)
• Baby Got Back (B+)
• Fight the Power (B+)
• Move Ya Body (B)
• Sexy Back (B+)
• Boys Don’t Cry (B+)
• Cut the Cake (A-)
• Whip It (A-)
• Crazy (B+)
• Hungry Like the Wolf (C-) (it pains me to assign this grade, Jennifer J, but this song led to the biggest exodus from the dance floor all night)
• Words (C)
• Boogie Shoes (A-) (what TV show does this remind you of?)
• Let the Music Play (B)
• Tenderness (B+)
• Bust a Move (B+)
• Finally (A-)
• Everybody’s Got Their Something (A-)
• You Dropped a Bomb on Me (B)
• Groove Is In The Heart (A-)
• One More Time (B+)
• September (A)
• What I Like About You (A)
• Gold Digger (B+)