A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

_ _ _ _ _ _: WILL'S CULOTTES? _ _ _ _ _ _: MERL'S KINGLY MIEN?: A slightly annotated (but unedited, except for the formatting, so don't blame me for the weird syntax) public service announcement for the large shaded area in the middle of our Venn Diagram of hyperlinguists (left circle) and game show aficionados (right circle):

I am really excited to announce that I am casting for a new game show by the creator of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune entitled Merv Griffin's Crosswords. If you know of anyone that is charismatic¹, outgoing, and has a knack for crossword puzzles living in the Southern California vicinity² (or plans to visit before Halloween) please forward this email along to them. Contestants will have the opportunity to win cash and vacations.

Prospective contestants must be:

• Over the age of 18
  
• Have not appeared on a reality or game show in the past 6 months
  
• Does not know an employee of Merv Griffin's Crosswords, William Morris Agency³, or Merv Griffin Entertainment.

Please forward this email along to anyone you feel would be a great contestant for the show. Call 323.762.8282 to talk to me or any other member of the Contestant Department to find out more details and to set up an audition.

Warmest Regards, Kim Holtzman Sloan, Contestant Producer

¹Please don't let this dissuade you. Have you met Ken Jennings?
²For a list of crosswords living in the Southern California vicinity, please consult the Southern California Directory of Crossword Addresses.
³This effectively disqualifies all Southern California residents.