A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

SNUGG(LY) LIFE: A month or two ago, I pointed you to video of Big Fred, an 8-foot tall Atlanta Falcons mascot, pecking the living hell out of peewee football players. Today I bring you video of Big Fred henchman Freddie Falcon over-enthusiastically smashing a cheerleader in the face with a birthday cake, allowing Big Fred to dry-hump the stunned cheerleader as a nightmarish bunny looks on (ETA: I didn't even notice Big Fred violently pecking the cheerleader's head at the end -- this only gets better and better). The Atlanta Falcons: Come for the Joey Harrington; stay for the Clockwork Orange halftime show!

Not to pick on Atlanta only, though. This violent gang of plushies has staked a claim to territory nationwide, and currently includes:

• Lou, the San Francisco Giants' Seal;
  
• Grump, the Scranton-Wilkes Barre Furry Green Child Molester;
  
• URI's Rhody Ram and St. John's Joe's Hawk (note: this is rare video of Rhody being "jumped," or initiated, into the gang)(sorry, Professor);
  
• Drive-by specialist Mariner Moose;
  
• The cold-blooded hitman identified in this very blog as the Phillie Phanatic; and
  
• Unaffiliated sporting event entertainer Harry Canary.

Invaluable research tool: Deadspin