Wednesday, September 24, 2008

DROP THE CHALUPA: A list of dogs I would rather see in a movie than a sassy chihuahua:
  1. Loyal and daring collie
  2. Chinese dog of indeterminate breed who has been given a pointedly long name by a boy who lives near a well
  3. Sheepdog who is really a shape-shifted district attorney -- the only dog with a law degree and a pedigree!
  4. Lhasa apso with Jamaican accent and mad computer skills who makes himself available to assist a rogue CIA agent on the run from a shadow-government trained black-ops army of excitable and distractable yellow labs
  5. Bassett hound in a trench coat and fedora who may be an anti-crime educator or a pervert flasher or perhaps both
  6. Scottish highland terrier fighting a principled David-vs.-Goliath battle against evil corporations
  7. Some whippet junkie hustlers living paw-to-mouth in the Leith projects
  8. Handsome Dan
  9. Chow with an ill-advised crush on a flamboyant toy poodle hired by pinscher boyfriend to keep her company
  10. Hotshot bend-the-rules King Charles spaniel paired with a by-the-book Great Dane
  11. Young dalmatians at ballet school coping with the pressure of the annual ballet tournament
  12. Rag-tag band of mutts and pound dogs that beats the hated New York Yankees behind the fatherly advice of their alcoholic St. Bernard coach and the last-minute heroics of a pit bull terrier who learns to trust his teammates and a power-hitting bulldog-boxer mix who only needed glasses!
  13. Melancholy chihuahua who struggles with crippling shyness and spirals into deep depression while writing a heartbreaking masterpiece piano concerto that is callously overlooked by the classical music mogul and goes unheard for a hundred dog years before it is discovered by a dashing young composition professor at an ivy-covered New England university
  14. Pug.

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