Thursday, September 4, 2008

ELEVEN NATURAL-BORN WOMEN, ONE TRANSGENDERED WOMAN, AND MAYBE TWO MORE TRANSGENDERED WOMEN: I really wish ANTM had picked an even-numbered cycle, not an odd-numbered cycle, to break the attractive/fugly pattern.

Is there anything left to be said about any part of ANTM that hasn't been said, right here as well as elsewhere? Audition 1000 women, send the 485-most attractive and 485 out of the 500 least-attractive home, whittle it down some more, make sure you have at least one that walks like a George Romero extra, three or four possibly fabricated sob stories (actual dialogue between show and me: Model -- "it was 50 below zero all winter and my house doesn't have heat and there's no way to heat it up"; me -- "so you died?"), ten-to-thirteen delusionals, a social, physical, or neurochemical malady curable only by divine Tyravention, the dialogue and plot from a 1970s porn movie, a lesbian, a Southern Baptist, and every gay man that ever raided Tyra's fridge, and presto, it's so easy you don't need union help. I think the only new thing this cycle is that Tyra's attitude is "plus-size? We pulled off that band-aid last year, so don't let the door hit you in your Huskeroos on the way out." About the only reason to watch this show is to ogle the cast house which, as usual, is stunning.

And by the way, the reason that Isis does not belong on the show has nothing to do with her (trans)gender, CoverGirl aside. It is that Isis is catastrophically ugly.

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