"Hey Soul Sister" is an orgy where bad ideas trade STDs, and the most syphilitic brain-fart stumbled in drunk from a Smash Mouth show. (For those of you who arrived late, Smash Mouth was a band from the late '90s that was formed when a soul patch met cake frosting. Their wikki-wikki scratching and dorkpie hats did to music what blood-soaked clowns do to the dreams of sleeping children.) Listen to "Hey, Soul Sister" a few times and you'll inevitably be reminded of the "whistling solo" from the Shrek house band's inescapable "All Star." From Smash Mouth, Train picked up an earworm that burrowed into society's asshole, laid 4.7 million iTunes eggs, and gave birth to a grey cloud of banality that covers the Earth.As bad as that is, #15 may be worse.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
"IT LOWERED THE BAR FOR BLOWJOB REFERENCES ON POP RADIO": No, you couldn't possibly guess what the Village Voice named atop its list of the twenty worst songs of 2010:
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Glee's "Loser" was bad, don't get me wrong, but it certainly wasn't either the worst or the most misguided song that show did last year.
ReplyDeleteThis list would be more fun if I had heard of more than a handful of songs on it.
ReplyDeleteI'm fine with Hey Soul Sister, but half that post is about Smash Mouth. Come on, Smash Mouth isn't NEARLY as bad as HSS.
ReplyDeleteI'm swooning. I love me a good, scathing review.
ReplyDeleteThere really is a song about not building a mosque at Ground Zero?
ReplyDelete"did to music what blood-soaked clowns do to the dreams of sleeping children"
ReplyDeleteAdam, I do declare, you have unleashed a linguistic sabre so sharp and wicked it is giving me the vapors.
Any such list that does not include any Ke$ha, particularly her "song" "Blah Blah Blah," is suspect.
ReplyDeleteThank you for pointing me to this. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. The Susan Boyle review is brutal (and awesome).
ReplyDeletePublic service announcement: do NOT listen to Santana / Scott Stapp doing "Fortunate Son." It manages to be worse than it sounds.
ReplyDeleteI heartily disagree. At least Hey Soul Sister can blend into the background like the blandest of party guests, whereas Smash Mouth is intrusively bad.
ReplyDeleteUm, am I the only one who thinks "Hey Soul Sister" is kind of catchy? (embarrassedly slinks out of the room...)
ReplyDeleteI think even the reviewer thinks it's catchy. Just not in a good way.
ReplyDelete