Sunday, July 8, 2012

THERE ARE TOO MANY STATES NOWADAYS. PLEASE ELIMINATE THREE:  Kobe Bryant, 33, is deemed the leading veteran voice of the USA men's basketball team. Serena Williams, 30, is hailed for winning the ladies' singles and doubles titles in one day, in what observers say should be the twilight of her career.  I'm older than all the MLB all stars except one, Chipper Jones. When did "old" get so young?  (And why can't I recognize any of the music on the radio anymore?)

Related: fourteen first-world problems from the 1990s.


  1. Meghan11:12 AM

    Because I read gossip blogs, I know which movies/shows the next generation has been in. Because I don't watch the movies or shows they're in, I have no idea who's who. Like my grandmother with her All in the Family and MASH reruns, I just like what I like, even if I've seen it before. And yes, please get off my lawn.

    As for the states: Ohio, Alabama, and Mississippi.

  2. South Carolina can easily be split between Georgia and North Carolina. Move Delaware to Maryland. And Canada gets Michigan. (or sub one of those out for an independent Hawaii)

    Your other questions are too vague to be answerable.

  3. The Pathetic Earthling11:41 AM

    No way.  Last Tuesday, I was in Tahoe and we went up to see the Reno Aces.  Pitching for the Las Vegas 51s?  Jamie Moyer, aged 49.  He's six years older than me which makes me believe one thing: There's.  Still.  Time!

  4. The Pathetic Earthling11:43 AM

    Oh, fuck.

    Of course -- this also means I may well have seen Jamie Moyer's last professional baseball appearance, which would be kinda cool.

  5. The Pathetic Earthling11:53 AM

    Oh, I think we should merge all of New England into one state, since it's always one piece of the wooden puzzle, which let's add back in two:  Jefferson (which would pretty much be West Virginia-by-the-Sea) and Franklin, which sorta got screwed out of existence.  

  6. KarenNM2:49 PM

    And don't forget that over-the-hill veteran Roger Federer won Wimbeldon today...   was listening earlier this week to tv folks talking about how his best days are past, off-handedly mentioning that he's now 31.  With as long as he's been on top - and recently, not - I was thinking he was at least 35.

  7. Joseph J. Finn3:34 PM

    And there's a version of Jefferson that would split California among the coast and the interior.  

  8. "When did "old" get so young?"

    The opposite is more true, in my opinion. When did 'young' get so old? Culturally speaking, people don't want to grow up anymore, or perceive themselves as being old. In the case of baby boomers approaching their 60s this trend gets pretty ridiculous, and isn't all that attractive for folks in their late 30s and early 40s, either.

    Age has many virtues youth lacks, being at your physical peak athletically isn't one of them, though.

  9. When it comes to crackpot schemes to divide up California into more reasonably sized, and politically viable chunks, I humbly prefer mine own. (warning, thoughts of a political nature at link)

  10. gtv20005:42 PM

    And turn down that "music".

  11. Jenn.7:15 PM

    It used to be amusing to compare baseball players' birth dates to my own. Now, for some reason, I've stopped doing that....

  12. Roger7:29 PM

    Mississippi, Alabama, South Carolina.

  13. Watts9:20 PM

    Work around college students - you'll feel the age fast. The class that will be entering next month was likely born after I graduated high school. They have lived under only three presidents. 

  14. Watts9:22 PM

    Oh, and I'm not sure about giving up states, but can we give Michigan's upper peninsula to Wisconsin? Just makes sense.

  15. The Pathetic Earthling2:46 PM