A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

SUNDAY NIGHT PRESTIGE TELEVISION IN FACTOIDS AND HEAD-TO-HEAD MATCHUPS:

1. Number of players from the British Office who have wielded chipped steel on Game of Thrones: 2
2. Number of children from Hugh Grant vehicles appearing on last night's episode of Game of Thrones: 2
3. Number of Hollywood royalty playing fake royalty on Game of Thrones: 1
4. Eras most associated with Don Draper's current and former paramours appearing last night, based upon other credits: 1960s (X-Men: First Class); early 1980s (Freaks & Geeks); pan-1980s (Hot Tub Time Machine)
5. Most irritatingly unrealistic presence: friction on fake snow
6. Most irritatingly unnecessary presence: Theon Greyjoy
7. Sore thumb: James Wolk
8. Number of women brandishing weapons on Game of Thrones even though Daenerys was absent: (Brienne, Arya, Osha, Meera, Ygritte, Margaery)
9. Rickon vs. Bobby: Bobby
10. Cersei vs. Catelyn vs. Betty vs. Roger's mom:  (1) Roger's mom; (2) Betty; (3) Cersei; (4) Catelyn
11. Roose Bolton vs. Ken Cosgrove:  Cosgrove
12. Dowager Lady Olenna Tyrell vs. Dowager Lady Pauline Francis: Lady Pauline (upset!)
13. Tyrion vs. Roger (quips): Roger
14. Joffrey vs. Sally (parental abuse): Sally
15. Sansa vs. Violin Girl (poor choices): Sansa
16. Margaery vs. Meghan (Q rating): Meghan
17. Riverrun vs. River Water: Tie
18. Cakes and cheese vs. finger sandwiches: Cakes and cheese
19. Jewel-encrusted lever-action crossbow vs. dream-catcher vs. violin case vs. military lighter vs. shoeshine box: shoeshine box
20. Indistinguishable: Night's Watch and St. Mark's Place Hippies
21. Indistinguishable except for coed composition: Brotherhood Without Banners and Writers' Room
22. Marching orders, Night's Watch: Trudge straight that way for a season, then turn around and go straight back
23. Marching orders, Army Beyond the Wall: Trudge straight that other way
24. Marching orders, Army of the Northmen: Go that way, then loop around the other way, and then if you get a chance go back around for a funeral or something
25. Marching orders, copy writers: write better, don't say anything about love or severed ears