Wednesday, August 6, 2014

WELCOME TO NABOO, WHERE THE SAND IS NEITHER COARSE NOR ROUGH NOR IRRITATING:  Next year, Disney will be revealing plans for “a far greater Star Wars presence in its theme parks."


  1. A Mos Eisley restaurant at DHS seems a slam dunk, as would meet and greets.

  2. Eric J.12:40 AM

    Speeder Bike or Pod Racing-themed roller coaster? I predict there will also be a gift shop.

  3. The Pathetic Earthling8:35 AM

    I'm about as cynical as a person can be about Disney properties, but a kid-friendly float through Degobah (ala Jungle Boat) could be pretty excellent.

  4. Adam B.9:18 AM

    There were Stormtroopers outside Star Tours at DL in June; they posed for a picture with the girls and kept pushing down Lucy's hat brim. It was adorable.

    Would you only do head-covered characters (Vader, Chewbacca, C-3PO), or would you actually have a Luke, Solo, and Leia?

  5. I believe for Star Wars weekends, they do "face characters," but those are challenging because they require more training and because I think they're required to be Actors' Equity or similar. (There's massive demand for Anna and Elsa right now, but finding performers has apparently been challenging.)

  6. The Pathetic Earthling9:57 AM

    C-3PO must be a hard costume to fill. That dude is a toothbrush.

  7. Allegedly, there's a similar boat ride planned as part of the Avatar-themed expansion they're doing at Animal Kingdom (along with something along the lines of "Soarin' Over Pandora"). The one problem with Star Wars is that it's very easy to see how it lends itself to thrill rides and roller coasters, but a little harder to do young-kid friendly dark rides, which is what Hollywood Studios (where you have to assume they want to put the stuff in Florida) desperately needs.

  8. Adam B.11:00 AM

    Ooh: the Actors Equity rulebook for WDW:

  9. Adam B.11:01 AM

    Well, you know my desire: junk all the non-World Showcase stuff at Epcot.


    1. "Jedi Training!" While this attraction's title draws the kids in, they quickly learn not to come back, as it entails simply standing on one's head for 10 minutes straight while a two-foot creature stands on one of your feet and pontificates. One star.

    2. "Trade War: Naboo!" Disney has once again nailed the title, but the ride itself leaves something to be desired. Guests are ushered into an exact replica of the Imperial Senate (sans floating pods), and forced to debate tariffing policies for 20 minutes before Senator Palpatine names himself Grand Chancellor and excuses them. Half of one star.

    3. "Sand Barge Blues": Guests assume the role of a droid aboard Jabba's sail barge. Some will serve drinks! Some will be tortured! What will YOUR fate be?

    4. "Duel With Dooku": Fight the once-esteemed Jedi master with only your lightsaber and your ability to deliver the most stilted dialog ever to be caught on film. Slice, dice, and say things like "It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force... but by our skills with a lightsaber."

    5. [Your entries?]

  11. "Jar Jar Binks Character Greeting!"

    (And Jedi Training is already there (though looks more fun):

  12. Adam B.5:10 PM

    Max Rebo Band?

  13. If they wanted to, Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band would fit in exceedingly well as a replacement for the annoying audio-animatronic entertainment at the fast-food restaurant in Tomorrowland. Another place for a Star Wars attraction? Replacing Stitch with a "Yoda encounter?"

  14. bill.7:31 PM

    Since the crush of people already flooding into the parks makes it hell on earth for me, anything that encourages more people to go is a bad idea.

    And it doesn't mesh well with the whole Magic Kingdom gestalt. Just spin Star Wars off into its own park. Each section of the park can be a different planet.

  15. Eric J.10:41 PM

    "Death Star Trash Compactor swimming pool"

  16. Space Slug Dental Adventure -- kids have an opportunity to examine, diagnosis and treat dental caries of a genuine space slug! Must be 48" and taller to use the root canal tools!

  17. Adam C.9:54 AM

    Haven't been to the other parks in years, but we were at MK last Christmas Day, which I understand is one of their busiest days of the year, so I can appreciate Bill's point. Our kids are old enough that I don't really see us going back to MK anytime soon, but count me too in favor of a separate SW park. Hey, if you're gonna exploit the property, then REALLY exploit it -- if the IP works out, they could even do something that unites SW and any Marvel properties Disney maintains the rights to themeparkicize, a la Universal Islands of Adventure (which brings together certain Marvel characters, Harry Potter, Seuss, et al). Alternatively, maybe a massive revamping of DHS, as Matt suggests above, would work.

  18. The Pathetic Earthling1:21 PM

    With the Wee Earthling now 6.5 (and the Little Earthling 10 on Sunday), we're as likely as not to never hit the Disney properties as a family. And thank the Manufacturer for that.

    Now, we've studiously avoided keeping Disney stuff in the house, so there's not a lot of pent-up demand, but from a purely selfish matter, the combination of huge crowds and the stress of trying to run around to make this Fast Pass thing work and, as Adam has noted elsewhere, the need to reserve lunch and dinner plans weeks in advance, means I have absolutely no interest in the place.

    And yet -- if there's a Star Wars theme park, I'll need to go.

  19. Adam C.1:56 PM

    TPE, we'd avoided it too, and our girls (both stridently anti-princess)were 12.5 and about to turn 10 when we finally went. Purely a bow to 2 things: we hadn't taken a "fun" extended family vacation in years, and most of their friends had been to WDW and they hadn't. And for a variety of reasons (including spending a day at Universal for the Potter stuff), we only had 1 day to work with at MK. They still had a good time, and we even did too. Re: stressors, if you accept fast food as an option, you're fine for meals. FastPass wasn't a problem either - it worked to our benefit a few times early, and as the day went on it became less helpful so we ignored it and just accepted that there were things we wouldn't get to do (or, in the case of Space Mountain, would have to wait in a long line to do). In short, the whole thing's not as terrible as you'd think, even on the busiest day of the year.

  20. "In short, the whole thing's not as terrible as you'd think, even on the busiest day of the year."

    We were at WDW the week between Christmas and New Year's (drove home New Year's Day). Fast passes for the entire day gone by 10am and 2-3 hour long lines. Practically shoulder to shoulder shuffle-stepping from the time we entered to when we left. The Child loves Disney World and even she was telling the grandparents "Next time, let's just go to the beach." Pretty damn horrible.

    So what I'm saying is even if the kids have to miss a couple days of school go during a nonpeak time.

  21. On the other hand, we accidentally stumbled onto free parking. You can visit the hotels without paying the parking fee (except for the Floridian; only hotel guests allowed in their parking lot). For example, we had luau reservations at the Polynesian and showed up a few hours early to ride the monorail and check out the Christmas decorations at the other hotels. At the security checkpoint we said we were there for the luau and they just waved us through, no checking. At the time we drove up WDW had exceeded their overflow parking and were sending people to Epcot to park.

    Once you're in, you have access to the monorail, the ticket center, and the park entrance. So if you want to test this, just head to the Polynesian or the Contemporary and tell them you're there to eat or just to check out the hotel gift stores. Good luck.

    No idea how Disneyland works.