WHY CAN'T THEY BE LIKE WE WERE, IMPERFECT IN EVERY WAY?  According to the Centers for Disease Control, today's teenagers are smoking less tobacco, drinking less alcohol, having less unprotected sex, getting pregnant less often, and exercising more often than prior generations. (They are, however, smoking more pot.)

IT MAKES ANYTHING FUNNY:Still depressed about yesterday's World Cup game?  Take a couple of minutes to watch Dolly Parton play "Yakety Sax."

SOME DAY I'LL BE BIG ENOUGH SO YOU CAN'T HIT ME:  Go ahead and try to name the top twenty recording artists (based on album sales) which made their debuts in 2000 or thereafter.

YOU MAY NOW CEASE ROCKING YOUR BODY:  Happy Canada Day!  Of course, the proper way to celebrate?  Let's Go To The Mall!

TAKE UP OUR QUARREL WITH THE FOE! This blog feels the same about Belgium as it did in 2007:

What’s so great about a country that essentially serves as a highway for France and Germany to invade each other, and the name of which the rest of the universe considers the foulest of insults? It doesn’t even have its own language, just two outrageous accents: Dutch and French. And, frankly, Brussels sprouts far outweigh the salutary cuisine springing from this country. Perhaps the archaic remnant of von Metternich’s world design should be consigned to the ash heap of history. Dutch-dominated Flanders can hi-diddily-hightail it back to the Netherlands, and French Walloons can return to a country where they will still be insulted, but now in a language they can understand.

I believe that we will win!

DICKLESS JIG:  Fifteen years ago today, the greatest movie musical of the past forty-plus years was released into theaters: South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Here's "La Resistance", and Matt Stone's memo to the MPAA on its suggested cuts ("We have the shot animated that reveals the fact that Winona is not shooting ping-pong balls from her vagina.").

[Go ahead, make a case for a better movie musical post-Wonka: I'll hear arguments for Moulin Rouge!, Hairspray, and Little Shop of Horrors, I guess.]

SURVEY SAYS:  Having completed this year's Western Excursion with the girls (more on San Diego and Anza-Borrego soon), I couldn't help but wonder: which amenity would you rather have while flying—JetBlue's thirty-some channels of live tv (got to watch a good deal of the World Cup today), or relatively cheap wifi?  Does it matter how long the flight is?

[Note: asking for yourself only; when traveling with kids, it has to be the live tv, right? Even if it means seeing one's daughter marathoning Animal Planet's "Finding Bigfoot" series. (Spoiler Alert: they haven't found him yet.)]