Thursday, July 1, 2004

I'M A CHOREOANIMATOR: Last weekend, I was bored and pulled out my DVDs of Sports Night, and honestly, if you don't own these, you probably ought to. I'd originally intended to watch a couple of episodes. Somehow, I wound up watching 6 or 7 in a row--that's how good it is. Just for the sake of showing the greatness, I want to offer two monologues that I'd submit rank among the best EVER on a sitcom:

The first is delivered by Jeremy Goodwin (Joshua Malina, now of "West Wing" and "Celebrity Poker Showdown" fame) to his girlfriend (and boss) Natalie Hurley (Sabrina Lloyd, who really needs a new gig) at the end of a office poker game that drives the plot of "Shoe Money Tonight!"

"You've got trip sevens, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life, they were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the break-up-with-him-before-he-breaks-my-heart strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don' t think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you, you have three sevens, and I have a straight."

The second is delivered by Dan Rydell (Josh Charles, now best known for being dumped by Jennifer Connolly and being the traitor in last summer's "S.W.A.T.") as an on-air apology for saying in a magazine that he supported legalization of marijuana in "The Apology:"

"I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam's a genius. I mean, literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought with money he earned tutoring other kids in math. He's energetic and articulate, curious and funny. A great source of pride to our parents. And there's no doubt that he'd be living a great life right now, except for that he's dead. Because when you're fourteen years old, all you ever really want to be is your sixteen year old brother. And in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college was the day Sam got his driver's license. And he celebrated by going for a drive with some of his friends. Drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran. And he probably never saw the eighteen-wheel truck that put him into the side of a brick bank, either. (long pause) That was eleven years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say... I'm sorry, Sam. You deserved better in my hands. And I apologize. (pause) That's all. Casey and I will be right back after this with the American League wrap-up. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so don't go away. "

The show balances humor and pathos like no other show in recent times, and honestly, if you're looking for something to do this long weekend, pick up the DVDs and pop 'em in. I guarantee a good time.

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