Monday, May 12, 2008

WITH AN ASSIST FROM DOBBY THE CHICKEN: Probst last night said that this was the best season of Survivor since Season 1, and while I don't think that's true, I think he's off by only one season (Season 2, with Colby/Tina, insufferable Keith, pre-plasticized Elizabeth Hasselbeck nee Filarsky, the vegan-vs.-bodybuilder finger-wagging fight between Kimmi and Alicia, beanpole Mitchell, Michael Skupin narcolepsying himself into the fire and a medivac, and archvillain Jerri Manthey and her then-mute henchman, Amber). The first half of this season (which seems like a million years ago, I mean, Jonny Fairplay? Joel dragging Chet into a wood fence? Was that really this season?) was just too uneven, the fans too dull and obsequious, to rank it too highly. Too much of the value of this season, too, was in the tribal councils, and not in the challenges and bonding. In the post-merge show, though, those tribal councils were doozies, including blindsides, mind-boggling idiocy (and I have to disagree with Sepinwall here -- I thought it was hilarious), and -- am I forgetting something? -- the first proper use of a hidden immunity idol. There was nothing as great as the time that self-proclaimed geniuses Alex, Mookie, and Edgardo got played by the Earl-Yau Man troupe, but the aggregate level of backstabbery was impressive. And the phrase "who would go for that? I feel stupid just listening to you" should go right into Bartlett's.

The finales are always a little disappointing -- one never wants to see the Ozzies and Amandas bloat up upon their return, or to figure out who is a Stephanie LaGrossa All-Star (a person who looks better unwashed than in makeup) -- but this time, I liked three of the four finalists (and all of the final three). One thing I will say, though -- if one is looking for a way to explain the result, I offer two: (1) I think that Survivor juries (and not just the men on them) tend to penalize women and reward men for playing the game a certain way, and I think the second-place finisher may have suffered from that; and (2) the smartest change this show ever made was going to a three-person finale, because that meant the jury had to vote for somebody instead of just voting against somebody (thus eliminating flying below-the-radar as a viable strategy), and the return to the two-person final was as dumb as the original change was smart.

ETA: I forgot to mention the Spacehold's favorite part of the episode. The March of the Vanquished segment is always the editors' chance to tell us what they secretly thought of the contestants. One of the funniest things ever on Survivor was the Bobby Jon montage, which consisted of uninterrupted spazziness and flailing. Last night's victim was Kathy, whose montage went: (1) completely whiffing in trying to tackle Amanda and ending up with a faceful of lagoon; (2) dry-heaving a bite of bat; (3) crying; (4) crying a different time. Awesome.

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