Monday, July 28, 2008

AN ONTOLOGY OF ONTOLOGY: I've been reading way too much of the Fire Joe Morgan archives lately, so I have to fight off a powerful urge to do a FJM-lite response to Peter King's latest column (I also don't care to wade back into the Brett Favre debate because my feelings haven't changed one bit). Still, I can't stop myself from making the following observations:
  1. In a column so long it took five Internet pages (standard word capacity for an Internet page: ∞), the most important thing (judged by placement in the story) that King has to say is that Brett Favre has a nice house.
  2. King apparently makes a distinction between "things I think I think" and "things I think I know," limiting this latest column to the latter. Try to come up with an explanation of that distinction that doesn't yield the result "Peter King usually is a crappy journalist."
  3. "[A] statue of Gandhi in Jackson seems about as in-the-right place as a statue of Ward Cleaver at the Playboy Mansion." You hear that, Jackson, Missisippi? As the world's most recognizable locus of sexual depravity is to a mostly-forgotten tame-seeming guy from a 50-year-old fictional TV show, so are you, in your illimitable thirst for violence and wanton oppression, to the man who represents the ideal of nonviolent resistance.
  4. King has no qualms about a three-beer working dinner, even if the guy he's interviewing is conspicuously drinking iced tea.

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