Tuesday, July 22, 2008

SIC SEMPER HSM: I caught maybe 20 non-consecutive minutes of the HSM audition show last night (while flipping away from the Mariners game in disgust -- how can a major-league team play Miguel Cairo at DH? Everybody associated with the construction and management of this team should be banned from baseball for life). I've never seen HSM itself, so maybe this is obvious to everybody, but this is a stultifyingly bland show. The judges are polite and reserved, the setting sanitized (an Epcot public stage with an audience consisting of passers-by), the costumes mild (generic jeans and bright-colored plain t-shirts), the singing inoffensive, the performance cloying, the eliminations off-screen. How can you leave the tearful elimination -- the reality show money shot -- on the cutting room floor? Pointless.

But there was one beautiful thing that happened. There is (or perhaps was) a girl on the show named "Tierney," but I didn't find that out until nearly the end. Every time somebody referred to her, her name sounded like "Tyranny." So for an intermittent 20 minutes, I thought somebody actually had the balls to give a kid the greatest name of all time. The name literally means that the kid can get away with murder.

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