Friday, December 5, 2008

STICKS (AND STONES) ARE NOT THE ICE'S BIGGEST WEAPONS: They must be kidding -- the Nanny Hockey League has suspended Sean Avery for six games without pay, and is requiring him to go for counseling in the wake of his wisecrack concerning his ex-girlfriends.

Six games? Avery has never been suspended by the league before. Sucker-punching a guy unconscious gets you five games, as does a goalie's slashing an opponent in the gut. Four games for whacking at someone's calf. Three games for decking a foe from behind into the boards, and only two games for launching a harsh elbow into an opponent's nose.

Hell, when an NHL coach yelled "You fell, you fat pig! Have another doughnut!" at a grounded referee after a game, that was only a one-game suspension. But say something catty and uncouth about your exes? Six games.

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