THIS IS PART OF THE STIMULUS PACKAGE, RIGHT? America's strategic chicken wing supply is running low, and at the worst possible time with Wing Bowl 17 tomorrow morning in Philadelphia.
This year's gimmick: local competitors only; none of the competitive eaters from the national circuit, which provides room for folks like Dave "The Acidic Jew" Spector, who ate ten lemons in less than five minutes, playing the saxophone after each; and Doug "Obi Wing" Petock, who ate melons (including skin and rinds) while being punched in the stomach.
Related: The Colonel (eyes: wee, beady) wants you to know that "KFC employs a dedicated, trained cook in each of the kitchens of the chain's 5,300-plus restaurants nationwide" responsible for hand-breading the chicken using the secret blend of herbs and spices -- including, of course, an addictive chemical that makes you crave it fortnightly, smartass.
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