DUE TO A CONTRACTUAL IMPASSE, IN THE RESULTS/REUNION SHOW THE PART OF OZZY WILL BE PLAYED BY A YOUNG JOEY LAWRENCE: What a weird Survivor finale, beginning with the greatest penultimate tribal council in Survivor history and ending with a reunion in which nobody looked at all like they looked on the island. Rebecca and Candice looked like they had aged 15 years; Johnathan went the other direction; Flicka found the middle ground between roller derby and business casual; Ozzy looked like a poorly-made rubber puppet of himself; and island siren Parvati's puffy face looked like she had just gone 10 rounds without headgear in one of her 3-round foxy boxing matches. And did a guy who listed his occupation as "fashion director" really wear a flannel shirt to the final tribal council?
And what stereotypes did Ozzy and Yul think they were disproving, anyway?
I don't think I'm giving anything away, by the way, when I say that it was both a thoroughly satisfying final four and final result, and it would have been even if the votes at the end were flipped.