A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

A FORCE THAT IS ALREADY STOPPED VERSUS AN OBJECT THAT IS ALREADY MOVING BACKWARD: If we're going to do playoff previews, here's another one. Chicago offense, starring the guy who had this season's three worst fantasy football scores and another guy who couldn't hold his spot in the Arizona Cardinals backfield against Michael Pittman or Marcel Shipp, or Seattle defense, which will be playing this week with only eight men, six of whom will be introducing themselves to each other before the game? Seattle offense, whose signature plays are called "green right zoom f right demand interference flag left unsnap chin strap," "green left 236 z-up dear God where is Darrell Jackson" and "you run there, I don't know, maybe that will work," or Chicago defense, who lost its two signature players and who in the last month has resorted to an ingenious, but ultimately unsuccessful, plan to stop opponents by making suggestive references to Tank Johnson's unregistered weapons cache? Or, to put it more succinctly: Team Because of Tony Romo or Team Despite Interceptasaurus Rex?