THE SNOW FALLS HARD AND DON'T YOU KNOW THE DOGS OF DOOM ARE HOWLING LOW: I guess this may just seem like kicking a region when it's down, but look, Cleveland, if you can't guarantee that it's not going to snow for a full week in April, and if you don't want a park with a retractable roof, then you just shouldn't have your home opener until May. And if you're unwilling to wait for the weather to clear to host four games -- by my count, 57% of what was supposed to be the Mariners' young season -- then quit bitching and moaning about how you would have won if the game weren't called on behalf of a certified blizzard. I don't care if you were supposedly one pitch from a five-inning technical win -- did you really think an ump was going to let a guy throw 90 mph in the general direction of a batter when the batter couldn't even see the ball coming? And anyway, you're supposed to go nine innings before the Mariners give up. Five innings is a cheap technicality of a win -- only about half of the time it should take for the Mariners to get outclassed.
And I'm looking forward to the part of the season where the Mariners and Indians try to find enough room in the schedule for four doubleheaders. Maybe they can just pick a warm day and play a quintupleheader.
Bibliography: Deadspin; USS Mariner.