Thursday, April 30, 2009

BRING BACK LIFE FORM. PRIORITY ONE. ALL OTHER PRIORITIES RESCINDED / THE DAMN COMPANY. WHAT ABOUT OUR LIVES YOU SON OF A BITCH? / I REPEAT, ALL OTHER PRIORITIES ARE RESCINDED: The things I don't like about Deadliest Catch is there aren't two deckhands bitching about their shares, they never get ordered to descend to the depths to investigate strange signals from intelligent salmon, or - least of all - have one crab get loose from the tank and start picking off the crew one-by-one. Otherwise, the show is pretty much like the starship Nostromo in Alien. Crusty old bastards just trying to earn an honest living by doing insanely hard work.

There are a lot of good ways to die: saving babies from a burning building, shot dead at 92 by a jealous husband, defending the far left flank of Little Round Top with your fellow Maine infantrymen. Drowning in the Bering Sea, however, is not among them. Still, the videotape of the crew speaking openly about having a B-roll for their own funerals really hit home about just how easy most of us have it in this day and age.

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