A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

YET AGAIN, HUSKER DU'S GREG NORTON REMAINS THE SUSAN LUCCI OF THESE AWARDS: Voting is open for the American Mustache Institute's 2010 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached** American of the Year Award, "the person who best-represents or contributes to the Mustached American community over the past year." Finalists include Twins pitcher Carl Pavano, noted voicemail leaver Pat O'Brien, documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock and the candidate whom I urge you to support early and often, two-time Pulitzer Prize winning writer Gene Weingarten -- the man who is to features writing what Daniel Day-Lewis is to acting.

Last year's winner was Diamondback reliever Clay Zavada, beating out Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger and others,  accepting the award in person at Stache Bash 2009.  And if you plan to attend this year, note that the official guidance states: "Mustaches should be worn at the individual's own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro. Wearing a 'Dictator' mustache may lead to repeated beatings. ... If your mustache causes you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from a doctor, spouse, girlfriend, or Dave Navarro. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. Unibrows, commonly referred to as 'forehead mustaches,' are not recognized by AMI."

** ALOTT5MA Style Guide says "Mustachioed" is the preferred term.