A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

FALL TV IN FAMILIAL PITCHES:

Mom, CBS.  The pitch:  A recovering alcoholic tries to repair her relationship with her wayward teen daughter by making amends with her recovering addict mother.  They won't be offended by the underaged-sex jokes because a woman is saying them.  From the mind of money-printing machine Chuck Lorre. 

Dads, Fox.  The pitch:  Two actors fart on critics and minorities, and there is a baby or maybe two.  From the mind of money-printing machine Seth MacFarland. 

Brothers, ABC.  The pitch:  In this remake of Diff'rent Strokes, African-American parents adopt a troubled white teen and his precocious brother.  Catch phrase:  "Kindly elaborate, Willis!"  From the mind of money-printing machine Steve Levitan. 

Les Cousins Dangereaux, Netflix.  The pitch:  He is American, she is French.  They love, but the love, it is forbidden.  It makes other cousins uncomfortable in their trousers.  From the mind of money-printing machine Darren Starr from a concept by Mitch Hurwitz. 

$ecret Grandfather, Fox. The pitch: Scripted reality where grandparents go undercover to see if their grandchildren are good people. If they are, the show will give them an "inheritance." If they're not, the audience will root for them to fail. From the mind of whatever money-printing machine brought you Undercover Boss and Wife Swap.

Say Uncle, Fox.  The pitch:  Hulk Hogan goes back to middle school, where he is in the same grade as his nephew.  It turns out that the nephew and his friends are the bullies, and Hulk is befriended by the nerds.  From the mind of money-printing machine Gerry Marshall. 

Aunt Sister, CW.  The pitch: Two stepsisters feud when one marries the other one's wealthy uncle.  Everybody revenges each other backstabbingly.  From the mind of money-printing machine Mike or David E. Kelley.