Sunday, October 19, 2014

IT IMPROVES ANYTHING:  After being reminded of the Greatest Movie Twist of Our Time, it's time to ask how TV shows can be improved with the addition of one simple thing:  SECRET DWARF HOOKER!
  • Two and A Half Men--It's widely reported that the final season of the show will revolve around Alan and Walden attempting to adopt a child.  Well, turns out it's not a child.  It's a SECRET DWARF HOOKER (who looks oddly like Charlie Sheen).
  • Two Broke Girls--It's revealed that Han is actually a SECRET DWARF HOOKER.  He murders all the other characters.  The show ends.
  • Bad Judge--It turns out the child who Bad Judge has taken under her wing? Actually a SECRET DWARF HOOKER!  (Also applicable to About A Boy SECRET DWARF HOOKER.)
  • The Mysteries of Laura--Her hell raising kids?  Not actually kids, but SECRET DWARF HOOKERS!
  • Reign--Who needs Hunky Nostradamus when you've got SECRET DWARF HOOKER posing as one of the Ladies In Waiting?
  • Once Upon A Time--He's not Grumpy.  He's SECRET DWARF HOOKER!
  • The Blacklist--Red takes on his most fearsome enemy.  SECRET DWARF HOOKER!
  • NCIS: Secret Dwarf Hooker--Self Explanatory.
  • Nashville--An adorable moppet tries to seize the throne of Nashville from Rayna and Juliette while holding a deadly secret.  You guessed it--SECRET DWARF HOOKER!
  • American Horror Story: Secret Dwarf Hooker--Let's not give Ryan Murphy any ideas, OK?