Tuesday, October 21, 2014

PUT YOUR TINY HAND IN MINE:  Katie Halper reviews "Blurred Lines," "Every Breath You Take," and seven other songs which are more "misogynist, pervy, douchy and rape-y" than you may realize.


  1. Joseph Finn12:53 PM

    From interviews I've seen, it seems like Sting is disturbed as everyone else that there are people who think "Every Breath You Take" is a love song. Ew.

    "Baby It's Cold Outside," the best weird date song that was written by a husband and wife to perform at parties! (And for the record, my preference is for the Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan version.)

  2. I don't think "Blurred Lines" is a particularly good song, but it does feature a couple very clear lines asking for consent. "One thing I ask of you is let me be the one you back that ass into" is a very polite way to suggest a bump n' grind. T.I. later says "I just watch and wait for you to salute," which implies he needs a clear sign before moving forward with the evening's activities.

  3. Adam B.2:48 PM

    You mean, "I'll Know You Like Me (If You Perform Oral Sex)"?

  4. Watts3:02 PM

    A little too old to cover "Blurred Lines" but this is a fun read nevertheless:

  5. Marsha11:31 AM

    I need to have you write a whole list of subtext-into-text titles for me. I use your "Your Insecurity is What Makes You Attractive to Me" title all the time.

  6. Adam B.12:37 PM

    You mean, like "Too Close," by Next, a/k/a "Pardon My Dance-Floor Boner"?

  7. Benner2:30 PM

    I wonder how much of that is the music video, which features the Police just doing the song in black and white with close-ups of a sensitive looking Sting. That said, even if you were to just isolate the chorus, as a love song, it'd still possessive men's rights crap. Thus, the fact it's explicitly from the point of view of a stalker of whom Sting does not approve redeems it. Also, his hair, which looks like Gretsky's flow when he got to the LA Kings.

    The one I feel really bad for is Michael Stipe - "The One I Love" is the first R.E.M. single he doesn't perform in mush-mouth, and people can't grab onto basic sarcasm. Buck even does minor arpeggios!

  8. Joseph Finn2:34 PM

    Upvoted for the LA Kings reference.

  9. Adam B.3:20 PM

    One would think that comparing someone to "a simple prop to occupy my time" would convey the message. But, no.

  10. Nigel from Cameroon12:09 PM

    I don't think any of these are particularly "more" anything. Dumb list.